To Request a Change of Government

Day 611, 07:59 • Published in Japan Japan • by Reiji Mitsurugi

「帝国の逆襲」

There has been a lot of talk lately in our fair country about a change of government. We here at the Taishou (that is, me, Reiji Mitsurugi) believe firmly in the rights and privileges granted to the citizenry by democracy. However, I also recognize its shortcomings. It is a truly ancient idea that “any system of government that would give to Aristotle an equal say to the village idiot is a tragically flawed one.” Recently, I am sorry to say, the village idiots have been exercising their rights.

We here at the Taishou (that is, me, Reiji Mitsurugi) have always been proponents of honesty and ethical reporting. With this in mind, I will not name names. But of course, such is the nature of the village idiot that everyone knows his identity save for the fool himself. With a wink and a nudge, I know that you, the people and soldiers of Japan, will be well-informed.

These radical malcontents, the few of them who chose not to abandon Japan with the traitorous dogs, spout slogans wishing the destruction of our fair country's wise government. They curse the name of our President Kokawayoshi Makoto, whose leadership is such that I dare to call it divinely inspired. They wish destruction upon our great leaders, those whose names are so well-known it feels redundant to repeat them. Names like Tohru, like Oraizan and Akki. They call these people self-serving. They spit on the very idea of democracy when they suggest that our leaders are the puppets of foreign governments, or that they function for the purpose of personal profit. These spineless, would-be revolutionaries are the emperor, not yet told he has no clothes. They stand proud, full of self-satisfaction. With only an illusory leg to stand on, the village idiot places upon his head a crown of garbage and insists that he, and only he, knows what is right for the people. While Aristotle's only option is to smile and wave him away.

It is these idiots, these unclothed emperors, dear soldiers of Japan, who insult you, daily, from their false ivory towers. Their strategy is to cut the legs of the military out from under him before he can truly stand to begin with. A revolutionary with a flimsy cause cannot arouse fanaticism. As such, that revolutionary must ensure that his rebellion won't be broken by a strong-handed government. And, naturally, the strength of a government is its military. So long as the Imperial Army stands ready to deliver a “whiff of grape shot,” the village idiot cannot dethrone Aristotle.

But in these difficult days, in this challenging environment, and in this tumultuous present, the position of the Army is in perpetual doubt. With the eternal question of funding, as well as continued discontent among the soldiers (particularly with regard to the question of funding), the Army is bleeding. The naked emperors are getting their wish. Each day that the Army is neglected is a day closer to bloody revolution and national ruin.

To avert this coming disaster, I recommend to the soldiers of Japan three subsequent courses of action. Action the first, support the sitting government and trust its actions for the future of Japan. Action the second, vote for a member of the glorious Imperial Sun Party come the congressional elections. They are the ones who will lobby for your continued success and strength on the battlefield. And finally, action the third, petition your local representatives to support the creation of a Constitution of Japan. If, by some unfortunate happenstance, you find yourself represented by a politician not of the Imperial Sun Party, it is up to their whimsy whether or not we will see a well-supported military. Thus, in the interest of preserving the right of our nation to its security, we must forge a constitution to mandate as such.

The Righteous Nation demands a strong sword arm. Do not let the village idiots cripple it.

VOTE IMPERIAL SUN