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I can't believe it!

Today i read an article about ATLANTIS closing up shop, how could this happen, everyone should keep their eyes on the world stage closely and see what unfolds, Ladies and Gents this isn't the time to be scared, but yet to rise up, with the will and constitution that is Canada and greet this new Hell with open arms, and embrace it, extinguishing it from the source. We will not falter nor fail, the time is ours and it is now. If we go down in the coming months, may it be fighting with all the ferocity we Canadiens are known for.

I also regret to inform you that while i may be active for the next few days, no articles will be published, as I have personal matters to attend to, but i know Today is thursday, so its your JOKE DAY AGAIN!!! here is some more Rodney for this week, next week will be someone new...

Hope you like them

At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint
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My sex life is terrible, my wife put a mirror over the dogs bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said "why should I you never put out for me".
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I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "no one drag is enough"
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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them " are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over there's nobody home", I went over - nobody was home
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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I went to a massage parlor, it was self service.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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If it weren't for pick-pockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
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I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.
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After making love to this girl she started crying, I said "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning", "No I hate myself now"
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I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.
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. My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
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FAT. My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing
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She was so fat that after she sat on someone's lap we had to look for him in the crack of her ass.
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She was so fat that when she got on the scale a card came out saying one at a time.
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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She was so fat that she has her own postal code.
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She was so fat that she wears a 'cross your thighs' bra
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She was so fat that she has a dress with a sign on the back that says "caution wide load"
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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She was so fat that when guys have sex with her they ask for directions.
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She was so fat that when I hit her with my car she asked why I didn't go around her and I said that I didn't think I had enough gas.
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She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size)
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She was so ugly that she was known as a two bagger, one for you in case her bag breaks.
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She was so ugly that if you grab a dictionary and look under the word ugly you would see her picture.
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She was so ugly that when I bent down to pet her cat it turned out to be the hair on her legs.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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She was so ugly that they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
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She was so ugly that when two men broke into her apartment and she yelled "rape" they yelled "nooooooo"
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She was so ugly that she has a face like a boiled boot and a tongue long enough to lace it up.
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She was so ugly that she looks like she came second in a hatchet fight.
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She was so ugly that the last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.
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My wife's got a face like a saint - a Saint Bernard.
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There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.
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