This Place
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by Ayame Crocodile
This place is a prison, these people are not your friends. They're the prefects of this institution, welcoming peddlers of our mutual self destruction.
We come to eRepublik seeking release and liberation from our realities yet in doing so we enter into a false reality where once more the barriers to liberty are enshrined in the fabric of it's being, in fact more so than in the world outside, instead of law makers, courts and fiscal reality we have surrounded ourselves with unaltering mechanics, party lines and charicaturisation of our essences as people.
Searching for a world in which our opinions, emotions and desires can have a transformative effect we are confronted with a 2D cell. Upon realising this we seek the same solice as in the natural reality; that of human relations. For many this is seen as the only important element of eRep, where the encroachment of admins fleecing us of real world wealth can not touch us and friendships can flourish, Yet we pay a far higher price for this 'freedom'. We willingly give our own creativity and being in exchange for new shackles, our networks of relations are merely webs of chains.
We are tied down emotionally, investing ourselves in projects of distraction, rather than applying our abilities towards improving the real situations that led us here we dig deeper and in so doing we perpetuate the distress and feelings of helplessness that already sheperded us into this pen.
"Unconciously, we're tempted to indulge in such negative emotions that are unresolved from our past. Unwittingly, we recreate and recycle these familiar, painful feelings through the events and situations of our everyday lives."
This is how we are so willing to accept the dictates of others on our gameplay, be they the admins or the few who feel they have an impact by making choices within the game for many others (though there are other more complex factors at work the basic motivation for these few is conciously to have influence and grandeur whilst subconciously having a desire to relinquish responsibility, to be led and dominated themselves.). Were we to be brutally honest with ourselves we would have accepted the futility of seeking solace and enjoyment here long ago but the desire to refute our own self destructive nature and unresolved issues leaves us seeking just another hit, a few more hours of blissfull ignorance of reality.
I do not seek to preach or play a holier than thou card. Often my writing here is a purely cathartic experience of self examination, as the old adage goes "we dislike in others what we see in ourselves". If anyone is guilty of this refusal to accept the confines and self harming nature of what can only be called emotional addiction, it is me.
Within myself is a desire to relive feelings of abandonment, rejection and helplessness from childhood. The unconcious attempts to go through these over and over manifest themselves in some obvious ways; My desire to rock the boat, anger at others for dictation while it is merely enacting their own opinions as opposed to mine, a desire for recognition which ultimately is a search for rejection and of course my continual returning to this place.
For years I've known that the only way to head towards liberation and self fulfillment within eRep is to escape it, This has and always will be true, we only continue because we secretly love the continual struggle and strife.
In saying this I still seek to break out of this two dimensional prison and to become once more a three dimensional person, yet I accept the addiction which pulls me in. Until I and you turn our efforts toward our real struggles we will be here. When anyone leaves this place, rather than feeling loss, we should enjoy the knowledge that they have realised the greater satisfaction of a material reality. Too often we cling emotionally to the knees of others when they mention deleting their account, we become the alcoholic's friend offering them just one last drink and it's only causing us all more harm than good in the long run.
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Voted.
You have devolved into johnobrow, well done.
Since I should probably be more constructive, let me elaborate.
Blaming the game for your RL situation is both stupid and self-indulgent. It's a common thing for players to describe "more active" players as no lifers, and "less active" players as two clickers. However playing a game, any game, does not mean you have no life.
I enjoy erep. I browse articles here the same way I browse the news. It brings me enjoyment. It doesn't stop me going out for a meal, having a good job or working towards a successful future for myself. It is something I do alongside that, just like some people spend a lot of time reading the football columns and watching games, or some people go fishing, write short stories or whatever. The fact these things are seen as better or more fulfilling or whatever to society is just cultural bias. If you see eRep as being something you should be ashamed of playing- well done, you are a victim of peer pressure.
Now the contrast here is between an "unreal reality" - ie erep, and a "material reality" ie your actual life. But really how much of your life is "real". Is it more real to say, watch a film, or read a book? Both are entering into a fantasy world for entertainment. Even stuff like sports are contests and games with artificial realities built around them.
But even accepting that differentiation, what makes "material" reality so much more worthy? I can say honestly I never expected you to be arguing for materialism. The material world, and all the things in it, are only useful insofar they allow you to achieve happiness. Happiness is the goal and it doesn't stop at the border between the "real" and the immaterial world. To most of the universe you are a digital creature, only to your closest friends, workmates and family are you a physical person. Your presence here does not undermine your persona, it is your persona.
I would argue instead of trying to stop this, you should instead try to make your character and your self one.
*evolved
(had to post a new comment rather than reply 🙁
Thanks for the indepth response, really appreciate it.
I still enjoy playing this game and I understand why others do, I've had some great times here and probably will in the future still. But this is what I found of myself when I took time to think about why it is I play eRep, and by play I mean the reasons I get involved in the community and why I joined in the first place.
I'm not in anyway embarassed to play erep either, most people know I do and I've even talked a few people into joining.
Of course it's the same as other entertainment, because that can have exactly the same psychological need. It's my own motivation to spend so much time on such an activity that worries me.
I agree that in the end our aim is to achieve happiness but as for materialism being more worthy that really depends on you as a person but there's got to be a balance.
I'd always rather be sat round a fire having a few beers with close friends than chat on irc given the choice, however it's hard to arrange that and so I seek company on irc instead.
To me it seems that the desires that drive us to play erepublik are actually counter productive to achieving the needs that create them.
Spending time playing a game in order to make friends, get the reward tract firing over 'achievements' and playing at being a politician/soldier/economist/journalist/diplomat etc. isn't a good way of actually achieving or resolving the desires that bring me here.
That doesn't mean I will stop playing, more that I realise I would rather have a drive to turn my own life into one where I didn't feel a need to return. And that is almost exactly the same as an addiction.
"we become the alcoholic's friend offering them just one last drink"
Give drink now \o/
Authentic. It was interesting to read the results of your self-enquiry 🙂
Over time, I find that my own interest, motivation, enjoyment and/or disgust at the game are fluid.
So I just play when I want to, and don't when I don't.
Sometimes a simple solution works well.
Thank you Grainne 😃
I think you just tldr'd what i was trying to say that I need 😛 I've not had much of a chance to be fully active lately though but even with that I have a strange desire to play a game with people who all agree with me that is awful! 😛
Very good. I find myself trapped here.
tl;dr Can I have your stuff? 😛
Can the communes have your stuff? 😛
ha gaaaaayyyy
good one ayame, i love it
also, you remember about the game that i left.
tbh, this game is worse than erep, both the gameplay and forum, but idk why, i wasted my money and time(even more than i do erepublik) i played this game more than 7 hours and sometimes it hurt my eyes, and this became an addiction for me
after 3 months, i decided to stop to play this stupid game at all costs,
even though i have made friends & enemies(i argued a lot of ppl about their mistakes and they hated it, too much we argued), there and lead most of my friends to achieve something.
but, after a long time playing this game, i found that it that one by one it destroyed my life, my friends in RL, and my works, also the mods in this game who love to ban and some updates which make the game worse.
i played this game less and less, and then decided stop playing this game.
after that, my life in RL becomes better.
but ofc, erep is different, i still love playing this game but not as much as i used to.
beautiful 🙂
This is how we are so willing to accept the dictates of others on our gameplay, be they the admins or the few who feel they have an impact by making choices within the game for many others
Don't take a game too serious have fun 🙂