This is not a Fairy Tale: Interlude I
Agent ballerina
They say to write what you know.
As I sit down and write this story I wonder if it isn't an autobiography. I question whether or not it’s my fairy tale, my story gone horribly wrong. Because it isn't a fairy tale, it’s quite the opposite really. The world doesn't resolve right and the good guys fall and the ones you want to hate end up on top. Because what person deserves all of this pain, all of my pain. But it’s isn't an autobiography, in case you’re wondering. It’s an anti-fairy tale. It’s my anti-fairy tale. They say to write what you know and I know pain. I know hurt and hatred. I know what it is to hate your very existence and yet carry on with a smile on your face and a vibrancy you only expect from only the most well adjusted people.
I know what it is to become invisible, just another bit of scenery.
And maybe this story isn't pretty or happy. But it’s as real as any other fairy tale. Maybe even a little more, it doesn't presume a happy ending of a graceful heroine. She comes out alone, wondering how you can still sing, how you can still see beauty. She comes out tattered and torn, untrusting.
Frightened.
Frightened of herself. Of what she has done, but even more of what she didn't.
Frightened of others. Of the pain they can cause.
Frightened of being alone, because in loneliness there is only darkness. And in the darkness there is nothing but the nightmares and monsters for company.
Frightened of happiness. Because no matter how hard she tried it was always ripped cruelly away.
So maybe it is a true story, in its own way.
Because maybe it is a glimpse into the heart, the mind of an author.
Because they always said to write what you know.
Comments
I wrote and re-wrote this so many times. I actually thought about not including it at all, but with every chapter I wrote I found myself as a writer putting in these little side musings. And they all relate, and they all are something different. Not a part of the story exactly, but adding in a different voice. Because while I wrote each character, and started to develop their lives I found myself wondering more and more about the narrator, the person telling the story. And In that process I wanted to explore them a little bit deeper. And so these interludes were born.
A way to satisfy my curiosity. And a way to change this not fairy tale just a little bit more.
I'll try to have a new update up Monday or Tuesday, and we'll actually carry on with the main body of the story.
It's ok to be frightened sometimes. It's we do after that matters.
Keep updating these.
Remarkable. Please keep writing.
Voted, will follow
\o/