The USA/Ireland Agreement for Dummies

Day 2,217, 16:23 • Published in Ireland Pakistan • by Frodo Tea Baggins

As we all know legal agreements are often confusing and filled with language only lawyers and those involved understand. I suppose it's a form of job security that documents are done this way, as it requires the common person to hire another lawyer to interpret these papers into something that doesn't seem written in latin or armeic or some other long dead language nobody else still understands. With that in mind and being a former high ranked government official many times, I have decided to take the current agreement and break it down free of charge with full disclosure, I mean hey, I can't do any worse than the sign language guy at Nelson Mandela's funeral.



So here we go.....




The official agreement...

I. Preamble
In order to strengthen the relationship of the United States and Ireland, a rental agreement for the regions of Cork and Wexford shall improve the economic situation for both countries.

This signifies both countries have good intentions to build a legacy by hammering out something that sounds really good. In reality they know the next people down the line are going to piss everything away regardless and overall this is basically pointless, however on paper it sounds really good.

II. Terms

A. Ireland agrees to rent the regions of Cork and Wexford to the United States.
B. The United States agrees to pay 90,000cc for these regions (20,000cc for the Cork bridge region, 50,000cc for the Wexford iron resource, and 20,000cc reimbursement for lost taxes and shield from the occupation).
C. The United States shall begin payments after acquiring both regions (Cork and Wexford).
D. The first month shall have it’s rent prorated from the beginning of the NE process to acquire Cork and Wexford. Renewals will further rent the regions on a month to month basis.

This part is fairly straight forward and basically states there is nothing guaranteed in the rentals beyond a price per month with a month beginning and end date. Basically the deal could fold at any moment with Ireland get nothing, or fold at any future date with no warning and Ireland gets left sitting with it's hand up it's ass if they are counting on this.

III. Enforcement
A. If any terms are inadvertently broken by Ireland or the United States, the situation shall be rectified in a peaceful and patient manner, in order to return to the terms of this agreement.

This part relates how governments are rather useless and can't really control anything. They are apologizing in advance for being inept and stating they expect people to not listen to them and screw things up. Fairly standard.

IV. Renewal
A. This agreement can be renewed by the 20th of each month, if both Presidents and Congresses of Ireland and the United States decide to do so.
B. If the agreement is renewed, the United States and Ireland will arrange another payment to be made to Ireland by the 24th. This payment will be the rent for the following month.
C. If the agreement is not renewed, Cork and Wexford shall be returned to Ireland by Resistance War.

This is the cover your ass clause that allows you to blame someone else for dropping the agreement. Basically it allows a CP to cover his bad decisions by blaming it on congress or anyone else to save his own ass. Again rather standard procedure.

V. Approvals

This agreement has been agreed to and approved by the following, on Day 2212 of the New Worl😛

Signed for the United States: NewAzazel
Signed for Irelan😛 Bhane

Witnesses: Sweet Drinker, Aramec, and Evry

Witnesses are usually included in dealings and contribute to desicions. In this case we can see Evry was involved which is never a good thing as this deal is a financial deal and Evry is a women. Women of course should never be allowed into financial matters making Evry a very poor choice.


Now that we know the basics of the deal and already know it's bad there are the things that were dropped. This again left Ireland on the short end. It was worth a shot and Ireland ofered to waive the 20k tax loss fee in exchange for the US taking RTK and Kurgan. Unfortunately the US having experience already with the likes of RGR refused insisting the rent of taking those two would be higher than the cost of Cork and Wexford. I can't say I blame them but when we talk about true benefits from this deal it was well worth trying.

I the end I hope this has been educational and I'll leave you with one of my favorite tunes. Just the right amount of cowbell.

Kaptain Kidd