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THE TRUE STORY OF Pa Q, Part Six of Nine


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Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5


VI. From Resurgence to Decline

The peaceful anarcho-communist village of Weishaupt did not see Pa Q again until just after the Festival of Riot and Psychedelia that year. Everybody was in the dark about his trip into the city. In the past he'd taken great pleasure in announcing his psychogeographical wanderings; but since he had not done so this time, his going had passed unnoticed.

His return to the village was quite enough to occasion some astonishment. The day was growing dark when he logged into the village gate, then stumbled bleary-eyed to the tavern door, walked up to the Golden Extras counter, and tossed down on it a handful of Golds produced from his e-belt.

"Cash!" he announced. "Bring the vodka!" He was wearing a trendy new ASOS jacket made of faux leather and a men's Dolce and Gabbana handbag was attached to his belt, the great weight of which caused his belt to sag in a sharp curve.





The custom in Weishaupt was that anyone unusual should be treated with respect. Though they knew quite well that this was Pa Q, still he was very different from the Pa Q they'd last seen, with the ragged clothes. So the waiters, customers and passers-by quite naturally expressed suspicion mingled with respect.

The barman at the Spread Eagle started off by nodding and saying, "So.... you're back, Pa Q!"

"Yes, I'm back."

"Made a nice bundle, eh? ... Where... ?"

"I've been in town."

By the next day it was all over the village. Everybody wanted to hear the success story of this new Pa Q with lots of moolah on his belt and snappy fashions on his back. The result was that they began to treat Pa Q with a new deference.



According to Pa Q, he'd been a servant in the house of a successful Congress member. This part of the story filled all who heard it with awe. The candidate's name was Chuck Muckamuck. Everyone in the region knew who he was. They referred to him as Chuck. Or as Mr. Successful Congress Candidate. He was the only player from their remote region who'd ever been elected to Congress.

To have worked in the commune of such a person naturally called for respect. But according to Pa Q's further statements related while downing revolutionary spirits in the Spread Eagle, he was unwilling to go on working there because the successful candidate was really too much of a "tool".

This part of the story made all who heard it sigh with a sense of pleasure. It showed that Pa Q was unworthy to work in the household of such a player, yet not to work there was a pity.








According to Pa Q his return was also due to his dissatisfaction with how townspeople insisted on saying "three clicker" instead of "two clicker", how they shredded their shallots instead of chopping them when frying fish, and the fact that women in town did not sway in a very satisfactory manner when they walked.

He pointed out that the town had its good points too. For example, in Weishaupt everyone played ancient games like Wolfenstein 3D and SimCity 2000 except for the Aniken Quinn, the "Disgusting Fake Forig", who played modern ones like Diablo III and Digaea 4. Whereas in town even newbies played the latest games. He would say that in the hands of those little rascals in town, the Disgusting Fake Forig would straightaway become "small potatoes".







"Have you ever seen an execution?" asked Pa Q to his bar-side audience. "Ah, that's a fine sight.... When they execute the 'true revolutionaries' and 'cosmopolitan agents'... Ah, yes, a fine sight..." This part of the story made all who heard it tremble.

Pa Q suddenly banged his hand on the bar, then pointed a finger at Whiskers McGillicuddy, and shouted "Off with his head!" Whiskers gave a start, and jerked back his head like a spark struck from a flint. The bystanders shivered with pleasurable apprehension. After this joke, Whiskers McGillicuddy went about Weishaupt in a daze for many days and dared not go near Pa Q.










During those days, Pa Q's status rose nearly to one of approximate equivalency to that of Mister Jo and Granma Quinn.

With exception of the party leaders -- the Jo clan for the libertarian-anarchist wing, the Quinns for the institutional-revolutionary-communist wing -- most of the residents of Weishaupt were still quite poor, despite the glorious success of the e-Revolution. Generally speaking, public opinion followed the opinion of the two leading revolutionary clans.

So it was something of a surprise to all when Pa Q's personal stock rose amongst the women's quarters within the nine-tenths majority. When the women workers met they would say things to each other like, "Leading Comrade Madame Jo bought a printed silk sari from Pa Q. Although it was a print from last year's fashion, it only cost 999 CC." or "Did you hear that Mahi Blackstone Tuna's mom bought a child's costume for the Psychedelia and Riot Festival made of tie-dyed foreign cotton from Pa Q for only 300 CC cash, less eight percent discount?"

Then those who had no need of silk saris or tie-dyed children's costumes were most anxious to see Pa Q in order to buy from him. Far from avoiding him, they sometimes followed him when he passed on his way to a drink-up, calling out: "Pa Q, have you any more silk saris?" or "Pa Q, any cool tie-dyed outfits for my kids?"








Such chatter eventually made its way into the leading households too. One fine evening, Comrade-Lady Jo happened to need a fashionable but cheap fur coat. After a family council to discuss the matter, it was decided to ask Commissar-Friend-Volunteer Jonova of the Peoples Friendly Fashions Micro-Party, which was sort of a false-front "populist" branch of the Anarcho-Libertarian leadership team, to find Pa Q for them at once.

A considerable amount of time passed. The whole Jo household was yawning with impatience. The leading Jo's worried it might be because of their previous treatment of Pa Q, but Mister Jo dismissed this line of thinking, telling the others, "Nonsense. This time I sent for him." And sure enough, eventually Pa Q arrived.

"He keeps saying he has nothing left," panted ComFreVol Jonova as she came in. "When I told him to come and tell you so himself, he kept talking back to me. I told him..."

"Sir!" cried Pa Q, attempting to smile at the Number One Comrade.

"I hear you did well for yourself in town, Pa Q," said Mr. Jo. "Very good. Now... they say you have some old things for sale. If you would be so kind as to bring them over..."

"As I told Leading-Friend Jonova -- there is nothing left."

"Nothing!?" Mister Jo could not help sounding disappointed. "There must be something?"

"Only an old curtain."

"Then bring that for us to see," Missus Jo insisted at once.

"You must bring everything to us first," Mister Jo instructed.

"We certainly won't pay less than other people," the always-popular Howard Jo interjected.

"And I need a fur coat!", the Leading-Lady-Comrade reminded everyone.







Pa Q agreed to everything and slouched out so carelessly that they couldn't tell if he'd taken their instructions to heart or not. Mister Jo was so annoyed by this disrespect that he stopped yawning.

"It might be best to order the bailiff of the Peoples Militia to forbid him to live in Weishaupt. People should stand on guard against such 'tools'." That was the opinion of the extremely popular First Son and People's Champion, Howard Jo.

Mister Jo did not agree, pointing out that it might be bad for business. The young Jo agreed right away and withdrew his suggestion.

However, the next day when Comrade-Friend Jonova was out having her oxcart detailed at the People's Car Wash she repeated these insinuations about Pa Q. This gossip was most damaging.

In the first place, the Peoples Volunteers Revolutionary Bailiff showed up at his door and took his curtain. Although Pa Q insisted that the leading Libertarians wanted to see it, the Peoples Top Cop would not give it back and even demanded monthly hush money.

In the second place, the villagers' respect for Pa Q suddenly changed. They began to avoid him as much as possible, keeping a respectful distance.







Some of the more idle layabouts decided to get to the bottom of the whole thing. With no attempt at concealment, Pa Q drank the drinks they offered him and told them proudly of his experiences. He had been a petty accomplice to a band of thieves, not only unable to climb walls but even unable to squeeze through openings. He had simply stood outside an opening to receive stolen goods.

One night there had been a huge uproar inside the dwelling being robbed, so he'd taken to his heels as fast as he could. He fled back to Weishaupt; and after that had not dared to engage in any more thieving.

This story was even more damaging. Who could have guessed that he was only a small-time thief who dared not steal again? Now they knew he was really too low to inspire fear.









XOXOXOXOX,
PQ
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Previous episodes:

I. Four difficulties
II. A Short Tale of Pa Q's Victories
III. Further Accounts of Pa Q's Victories
IV. The Tragedy of Love
V. The Problem of Making a Living



Only three more parts to go of this True Story! Stay tuned to this channel to see how it all turns out.