Join the new world

HA HA HAllo to one and all. Well, as we all know, the election time is approaching, and it looks as though we are going to have a shoe in for the presidency. Mr. Adam Sutler. I of course will not be contesting this election, though I will be seeking the presidency of the HA HA HA party once more. I propose a fundamental change to the party’s name, to make it a little more memorable than the current Halifax Alliance of Hysterical Assassins and Homicidal Anarchists. Instead, it’s time to move from such a regional base, and seek to enlighten the masses of eCanada, and the eWorld! You see, what I propose, is a new party: the Coalition of Homicidal Anarchists and Organized Sociopath! C.H.A.O.S. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Let’s face it, it’s not a huge change, but it’s something. Now many of you fear Chaos, and what it can do for you. Many have called me crazy for some of the policy announcements I’ve made; but some of you out there may already know that I am not crazy, just ahead of the curve. People have criticized me both publicly and privately for my abhorrent vendetta against Mr. Sutlers’ Constitution. Before, I explained that we should not be bound by rules; for you see I believe that the Earth belongs exclusively to the living and one generation has no right to bind another to its laws and judgements than one independent nation has the right to command another. And yet, people pander to this new document. Why? Because they are bat-sh*t crazy. HA HA HA HA HA!

It is not their fault, for they’ve been raised by a self-perpetuating systems of laws and rules designed to rob them of their ability to reason; and thus rob them of their fundamental freedom. Free will is the one thing separating man from beasts. Granted there is also opposable thumbs and duct tape, but there’s more to life than those! HA HA HA! All the true differences between us and them center upon our undisputed mastery over thought and action. And how do we all use this wonderful gift of nature?

We restrict ourselves, and box in that very same free will with laws, constitutions, punishments, and the like! By doing so we spit on our greatest gift and ability: our freedom to think and act as we please. So why do we do this? It is simple…

Fear!

HA HA HA! That’s right. Fear!

Fear is the glue that holds society together; not progress, and certainly not love! We fear what others will do to us and what we will do to others. We are absolutely petrified that in this world of freedom, someone might take the liberty to kill, rob or rape us; or do harm to our persons or property. But what do we fear most? The unknown. We are on a lonely little planet flying at incredible speeds through the universe, and all we know for sure is that it’s gonna come to an end sometime; and nothing we can do will stop it! We are so afraid of this eventual destruction, at our utter lack of control; but we still try our hardest to control it anyway. But I say, instead of being the self-righteous killjoy holding back this roller coaster, why don’t we enjoy the ride as its maker intended! HA HA HA HA HA! There may very well be a being out there which has a master plan, but he’s holdin’ those cards real close to his chest and that scares the living sh*t out of us.

Well, most of us. HA HA HA!

Throughout most of our history, great thinkers and philosophers have taken it upon themselves to impart an important piece of wisdom upon us; and yet we refuse to listen. The Ancient philosopher Lactantiles wrote “Where fear is present, wisdom cannot be.” Edmond Burke wrote, “No passion so effectively robs the mind of its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.” Ben Franklin said “A man who gives up his liberty for security deserves neither.” And recently, Al Gore has said “Fear is the most powerful enemy of reason.” They have all been telling us for thousands of years that our fear is the true enemy. It robs us of our reason and corrupts our judgement; yet over a thousand years, no one has been so kind as to truly listen! By this definition, society as a whole is a complete corruption of nature; a massive self- sustained and self- inflicted psychosis caused by the perpetual existence of fear! The Psychiatrists will have a field day with this one! HA HA HA HA HA!

No other animal has organized itself in our model. There is no massive animal society quite like ours, governed by laws, regulations, rules and the like. Why? Because they lack the ability to reason; and thus, they cannot create a perpetual feeling of terror like we do. Ana animal knows fear, for it is the essential prerequisite to survival: the instantaneous adrenaline rush received when a threat is near; like a predator, or a mother in law! (Rearrange the letters. I swear to god you can make “Woman Hitler!” HA HA HA!) But humans, we are the only animals which can create our own fears. Ghosts, Goblins, monsters, and demons, we have all conceived of to terrify ourselves as children. They became a constant threat in the dark though they need not exist. Merely the ability to perceive of the possibility of this threat is enough to make the little kiddies wet their beds, and drive them into a psychosis at an early age.

As adults, we change from completely non-existent threats to merely percieved or possible threats. Our news programs distribute countless stories of those who “break the rules” those who slaughter us, maim us, rob us and rape us; and thus we are kept in this perpetual state of fear. They remind us why our national psychosis is needed, and why we must willingly destroy our greatest gift.

But our justice system can’t work perfectly, otherwise the entire psychosis will collapse under the weight of comforting, boring tranquility, so we are given those subconscious jolts of fear just to remind us that anything is possible, and we are in control of nothing. Hollywood produces countless horror movies, crime novels, and other forms of conflict in which we may perceive the possibility of harm to ourselves or others, all in the name of entertainment; while planting that little “what if” into our minds. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

It is this mould of constant fear which I seek to break. I challenge you all to forget this fear of yours. Join me among the ranks of the truly sane. Imagine a world of true chaos: a world without fear!

Forget that post-apocalyptic crap shoved down our throats by Hollywood. That is not a true Anarchy, for that is a world in which fear still reins supreme. Imagine a true anarchy, where we are free to laugh, live, steal, kill, be killed, or anything else which we desire! Complete and total freedom driven only by our ability to reason. We do what is beneficial for ourselves, and individually, or as a group we all benefit; just as Nature intended! HA HA HA!

Those who command our societies will tell you that such chaos will ultimately destroy us; but has their solution been any better? The crusades and the Spanish Inquisition saw hundreds of thousands of people killed in the name of religious rules and doctrines. Nazi Germany saw the rise of a regime that attempted to forcibly mould society into a “perfect image” only to murder tens of millions. Communist states throughout the world have slaughtered hundreds of millions of people through murder or food deprivation just because they refused to adhere to an economic doctrine! Face it, we have been systematically attempting to wipe ourselves out within the confines of society. How can putting a stop to this tyranny of fear be any worse?

Now many of you will ask, “How can we overcome this fear? How can it be conquered?” the answer has been in front of us since the dawn of time: Laughter is the best medicine.

I ask you, how is it that America finally began the healing process after 9/11? Multiple military conflicts around the globe, seeking to punish the perpetrators and their ilk have brought about only destruction and bitterness. No, it was through the sense of humor that the world recovered. Comedic pioneers like George Carlin, Lewis Black, Bill Maher John Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Seth MacFarlane and thousands of others grabbed us by the throat and said, “listen you idiots! Can’t you see how absurd this is!” and when they were finally ready to laugh again, they began to demand their rights back. The necessary precautions to protect their security began to look a little less necessary. Anything can be funny, even tragedy. It has happened to us all: we’ve heard of a terrible natural disaster on the news, and someone makes a joke in poor taste. Outwardly you are offended; but inside… deep down in the darkest reaches of our minds, you are laughing your ass off just like me! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

So now it is time to take this lesson to heart. Must look this society of terror straight in the eye, and laugh in its face. When tragedy strikes; when fear begins to creep back into our subconscious, when those who seek to rob us of our reason and corrupt our judgement begin to tout the gospel of fear; we must reply to them with one simple question…

Why So Serious?!

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