The Real Reason for War

Day 4,676, 19:06 • Published in USA USA • by RalphyNoPants

After high-level secret talks, I can assure you all I know the true cause of this war. Our CP may try to put it in idealistic language and sell us hopes and dreams, but the true cause is that the Brazilians denied him his one request.

He has been banned from getting a Brazilian wax.

I understand why he would. As a somewhat recent escapee to the freedom from the horrible, near war-crime that is being forced to wear pants and wallow in penis prison, he wanted to make sure he was presentable. I say to you. Embrace yourself, as you are and take hold of your freedom. Even if it would take more wax than they have in Madame Tussauds to get the job done. Also, don't let WhydoIbotherToo be your ass-lift consultant. He's just going to be mean and insist on making joke about renting a crane.
Hold a positive image of who you are and don't let the haters get to you Krapis. We love you. Let the groove below be your guide.




I love you buddy, and if you agree with this message, love Krapis, hate the penis-prison/clam-slammer known as pants, Brazil, or under-cooked pasta vote this article.

In the best of love and fun,
RalphyNoPants