Join the new world

Many of the general public will be wondering why there seems to be no TUP candidate for the presidency this month. If you look to the forums it is because of a screw up with jamesw being in a small party and our party president asher being called away on a Duke of Edinburgh expedition and being unable to put him up as a candidate. That’s the end of that you might say? A simple cock up that cost TUP the presidency this month, however is that the whole picture?

A brand new investigation into the life of Roadrunnerspeed, notorious self styled master criminal and filthy rich entrepreneur has uncovered some incredibly dark secrets! We can now exclusively reveal for the first time that Roadrunnerspeed is simply a cover for a dark and sinister man, a man that has various different forms and exploits a huge range of social mediums to gain world domination.

The first of his identities, the Observer can reveal is...
The Duke of Edinburgh!



A dubious character by any means and the subject of many conspiracy plots that have shocked the nation. This figure founded the Duke of Edinburgh award many years ago with the sole intention of calling away teenagers that could potentially save the day in an hour of need. This is but one of many examples of how RRS sabotages people through real life. His stopping of Jamesw running for the presidency is step one in his plan for world domination.

However, ladies and gentlemen that is not the be all and end all of it. The second of RRS’ identities plays a crucial step in step two of the terrifying plan. May I present to you for the first time, the one, the only, Giovanni!



Notorious 8th gym boss and head of the criminal gang Team Rocket, Giovanni has been central in RRS’ attempts to seize power. He has used Team Rocket to take control of key media institutions so that he can broadcast his deceitful messages across the world, and has had reporters beaten up for trying to expose the truth behind his labs that test cosmetics on pokemon.

The real part of his cunning comes in to play now however. We can now reveal that not only has he raised funds for RRS to buy organisations and take control of the media, he has also sent his two minions Jesse and James to infiltrate the ranks of eRepublik! We can confirm that johnobrow dadds (CP Candidate!) is in fact James in disguise, and Artela has been unmasked as Jesse! Now if you put the pieces together, it all starts to make sense. With Jamesw out the picture and TUP the strongest party on the block, it was expected that many within TUP would vote PCP! How terrible would it be if we elected Johnobrow only for him to turn out and be a Team Rocket Spy! With Artela in charge of the military it would ensure there would be no military coup, and if there was RRS would still be in charge with his puppet at the head! Bad times indeed ladies and gentlemen.

An even more shocking revelation however is the third incarnation of RRS, We can confirm that RRS is in fact the Decepticon leader Megatron!



The leader of an evil transformer army, Megatron will soon descend to earth and take over the planet and place it under the control of RRS. Many will remember the huge number of organisations handed over to RRS’ friend John Bartlett (who is supporting Johnobrow for presidency) because he wished ‘to be rid of them.’ The truth my friends, is far more disturbing. All of the organisations are Decepticon transformers in disguise!

Whilst Johnobrow will convince the rest of the world that there is nothing wrong, the military (under Artela) will join forces with the Decepticons and conquer the world. Jamesw will be powerless to do anything and even the hugely powerful Iain Keers will be swept aside as complete media dominance will assure the public that the Decepticons are on their side. RoadRunnerSpeed will assume total world domination and set about purging his opponents from earlier in life.



So there we have it fellow citizens, the plot to take over the world laid bare. Do not give up hope however, as we as a people of the United Kingdom have a chance to stop this. By voting GGRyan tomorrow, you will be stopping Johnobrow Dadds from unleashing a chain of events that will leave us as brainwashed and submissive slaves. Alternatively, if you can wait until later in the day, vote for Frerk to see if we can prevent Johnobrow from gaining second place, as I have it on good authority that Artela might be planning a staged incident to gain congress support for a coup.

So to conclude:
Duke of Edinburgh- It may get you UCAS points but it’s a plot to destroy the world.
Don’t buy slowpoke tails- They’re ridiculously overpriced.
JvB for MoD- The only Transformer capable of leading the fightback against the Decepticons.

Thanks for reading, remember to keep the faith. They can be beaten.
IndieKid