The Match Begins

Day 870, 23:43 • Published in USA USA • by Woxan

More SCANDALOUS than Scrabman in Baja!

AMERICA, tonight our military begins the assault on red base(otherwise known as Phoenix occupied South Africa) in conjunction with our friends from down under. Here's the picture I want to paint for you: America is a Sniper. We're shooting out bullets for headshots like a freaking chain gun. The US military represents these bullets. Now, this is where it gets deep. Australia is the Soldier class, romping and stomping into action with a mothersexing(I replaced one syllable) rocket launcher, a shotty, shovel, swagger, and a whole lot of attitude. Like, radical dude. Why the personality switch? Because we're bro like that.

You see, South Africa is like 2fort: we have the snipers on one side head shotting anything that gets too close to their base, but you can't storm red base with just snipers. Tonight we will begin our assault to capture the first red intelligence. God speed Blu Team. o7



At the time of this reading, if you live in the eUnited States, and your region of residence does not say Karnataka, USA, you're doing it wrong. For those who are, awesome. Know this: Karnataka is our only High Iron region, and every citizen that lives there makes it more expensive to attack and more expensive to tank down by our enemies. The Interior Department has launched a new program to encourage movement to Karnataka: want to make gold making American stronger? Move a friend. If you move the most citizens to Karnataka and show proof of movement (donation log+screenshot), you stand to be reimbursed on ticket costs and win 20 gold. Every citizen should attempt to move at least one friend into Karnataka. Here is the contest submission form. Do it. Do it nao.

Also, if you're wondering why we've been returning regions to China, it's because they let us have them for region swaps, and now we're giving them back. It's harder to do damage drains on us and China gets her beautiful regions back: win-win.

Also this article rocks, just sayin'