Join the new world

After collaborating with fellow DAL members, we believe to have come up with an accurate history of our party and all of eCanada. Shall we begin?

Once there was a man who would call himself Augustus and enjoyed molesting kids for gold. One day, he decided to go to dominiks house where Dominik was sleeping quietly and dreaming about Scorpius. Meanwhile, Augustus was taking a viagra for his tiny sexual partner who always was ashamed that Dominik had a mint-condition bright shining gold egg. However, brilliant plans are never the smartest thing when you are Augustus, for he is a very ignorant fool of the great land of Freedonia. But Augustus had other political prisoners to waterboard with his flowerpot full of AIDS infected sardines.

But, the fantastic ideas that Augustus planned would bear vast amounts of shiny metal kittens upon the residents of the small yet industrious nation of Scorpiusland, which being the smallest country in erepublik, enjoys precious few pancake related holidays. On one such non-pancake day, they began to dance, warding off the evil spirits of Bruck's evil minions. One humble villager named Ayeshan, one monkey named Uraczak, and one simple-minded yet incredibly delicious juvenile delinquent named Randy decided to defeat the darkness that is Augustus.

Dominik, however, had a clever songbird who would steal the darkness between Augustus' earlobe and the nether demensions. An epic battle, ended by murder, was fought between the unbeleivable evil of Augustus and the Bruckmeister against Dominik, Scorpius, and your mother. Then, just as Augustus was revealing his master plan of world domination, Dominik sued him for treason against the mushroom kingdom. Bowser promtly killed himself, but was reincarnated.

Bruck, meanwhile, secretly privatized 35 000 dollars before being killed by space Nazis. Augustus, fighting for his dear life, against the DAL's, was eventually beaten with a trout until he fell into a manure trough to be chased by wild porpoises that eat French-haters. Also, Bruck turned into Megatron and proceeded to crush Dominik, who was peacefully watching dubious videos of pornographic pre-teens. Scorpius, filled with love for Dominik, unleashed zombie-bowser while zombie-Megatron and zombie-Batman immediately died of diarrhea after eating each other. But a heart attack ultimately stopped Bruck........ THE END!!!

Epilogue

All was well in the land of Dominik. Birds ate AB's eyes, Leto was found basking in the slimes of northern Augustia. Also, Randy masturbated to a picture of Dominik dressed in a frilly pink dress dancing the charleston while under oath. And Uraczak became not a monkey, but instead a holy prophet of the House of Hagen, which irritated Alexander Rearden leading to the end of RFP. But in its wake, a new age dawned, and the DAL ruled the world.
END OF EPILOGUE


THE END



.....but Dominik will be back in "From eCzech Republic with Love"