The funniest jokes ever told - 5

Day 827, 00:55 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by lord of the light

An American:
- We have Barack Obama, Stevie Wonder, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
An Italian:
- We have Silvio Berlusconi, no wonder, no hope and no cash.

- All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind.
- Why didn't the sailors play cards?
- Because the captain was sitting on the deck.
- Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer?
- Because the grass tickles their balls!
- What is the difference between the tires Good Year and 365 used condoms?
- 365 used condoms are VERY good year.
- What Bill Gates' wife says him when they make love?
- Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT.
A group of spermatozoa march. Unexpectedly, the spermatozoon guides stops:
- Stop! Treason! The ass!!!
- Who has invented the love?
- The poor, so they can fuck for free.
Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:
- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
- Hundred dollars, as usual.
Goo😛 Your wife is pregnant.
Ba😛 She is expecting triplets.
Very ba😛 You were sterilized five years ago.
Goo😛 Your wife doesn't talk to you.
Ba😛 She wants divorce.
Very ba😛 She is a lawyer.
Goo😛 Your son is growing up.
Ba😛 He has a relationship with a whore from the neighborhood.
Very ba😛 Just like you.
Goo😛 You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees.
Ba😛 She interrupts you.
Very ba😛 And corrects you.
Goo😛 Your son has a serious relationship.
Ba😛 The relationship is with a man.
Very ba😛 With your best friend.
Goo😛 Your daughter has a good job.
Ba😛 She is a whore.
Very ba😛 She earns much more than you.