The Fall Of The Reichstag - Take II

Day 1,288, 17:02 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by xNosferatux

Slowly, he awakens. Reaching out his legs, he slowly stumbles through a minefield of spent supplies and used munitions. He stops and takes a deep breath, exhaling over a broken and ageing battlefield. There is no smile on this soldiers face, but this is his home. His true calling. Fuhrer Alfag has returned.



He assembles his troops for battle. He is back, ready to right the wrongs that his people have felt for so long. He is ready to earn his seat in heaven. He is ready to earn his 100 virgins. His soldiers line up, each war torn, but ready to earn their place in R & R. Lieutenant Visa, Sergeant Barclay Card, Corporal American Express, Private Visa Debit; They all stand as one, while Supply Warden Library Card watches on, quivering at the horrific stories that he has heard of recent battles. They all gather, completing the ceremonial burning of 6 month overdue loan repayments.



And so they march on, into glory. They don't feel, they don't think, they are just a number on a piece of plastic. They are the soldiers of the future. And then it begins. Within 5 minutes, Fuhrer Alfag's trigger finger is already tired. The constant clicking, and constant chewing of military rationed Domino's pizza start to take its tole on the great Fuhrer. He takes a brief rest, he has done well, the battle is almost won. The Fuhrer regroups, and assembles phase two: The draining of Personal Development. While the details of such an act are limited, it is said that he sells his RL soul to the devil, in order to refill his gold reserves. Only today, things we're different. A transript of the events of this fateful day can be read below. Be aware, it contains language disapproved of by most Catholics, OAP's and charity shop workers.



*Start Transript*
Hello, this is (Deleted for privacy reasons). How may I help you?

This is Fuhrer Alfag of the Fourth Reich. Supply lines have been cut, we need them back up, now!

Excuse me sir, what is the problem?

Soldier, this is important! Supply lines have been Sabotaged! Initiate Code 47! The Irish will be in London in 6 hours if we don't stop them!

Sir, this is (Deleted for privacy reasons). What is it that we can help with?

Soldier! What is your name?!

My name is Lucy, Sir. Please may I take your name and Account number?

Now you listen here Private Lucy, you need to get supply lines restored before we are all cut off!

Sir, please may I have your name and account number?

Why? This is Fuhrer Alfag, Serial Number 55067332! Where are my supplies!

Alfag... 55067... Ah yes sir, it appears your account has been cut off due to missed repayments.

CUT OFF?! THE IRISH ARE MARCHING ON LONDON AND YOU ARE CUTTING ME OFF!?

Sir, you missed 23 repayments. You must repay us before your cards will be restored.

THIS IS INSANE! YOU EXPECT ME TO REPAY YOU WHEN THEY ARE BREATHING DOWN MY THROAT?!

Sir, we understand your pet fish may be a strong commitment but you need to pay back your loans.

SOLDIER I AM GOING I HAVE YOU COURT MARTIAL'D BACK TO YOUR MOTHER WOMB WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU.

Sir, you have to pay ba-

THEY HAVE TAKEN LONDON! ALL IS LOST! LET THIS BE ON YOUR HEAD SOLDIER! GOOD BYE! I SERVED MY COUNTRY WELL!

*End Transcript*

The Fuhrer's body was found in a pool of tears. A post mortem revealed that his stomach contained a large amount of plastic, which upon later analysis had the numbers 55067332 on it. The cause of death is still undetermined but it is likely an unknown enemy named "Romper" who "Stole my idea" as written in blood on The Fuhrer's war torn keyboard.

A memorial for The Fuhrer can be seen below, an everlasting monument to one of the greatest men that ever lived...



Just to clarify, I support neither actions of Alfagrem or Romper. I think the endless buying of gold to endlessly attack is boring and ruins the game for the countries involved. Rompers presence here is just a reaction to what Alfagrem started. And above all else, this article is simply here to amuse. So enjoy (: