The Fact Sheet

Day 638, 12:56 • Published in United Kingdom Switzerland • by Billy Bob Joe

Hello again Britain!

After our victory in Nova Scotia (Which, in case you can't figure out the reason, was a birthday president to our dear William Duncan), we sat around wondering what to do next. We knew that the next time we fought, Britain would throw all its gold down the toilet trying to save the day, and we didn't have the gold for that. So, to win a battle, we would need genuine Eden help (rather then the mercenaries that you guys seems to constitute a huge amount of "Eden help"). So, we discussed for a while. I got bored, left, and went on several walks, bike rides, etc. I looked, saw the Madrid battle and New York battle, and then, an hour later or so, there was an Alberta battle too. I did some looking into it, so I have compiled a fact sheet for you Brits. This is not going to give you any advice. The last time I did that, I was temp. banned for the heinous racial slur of "dumb Brits". However, it will point some things out.

(1) You cannot win. This should be obvious to you, so you should probably give it up and hope you can achieve something elsewhere. The fact is, the UK army cannot beat Eden no matter how much gold it throws into tanking (IE the mysterious 800 gold that just left the British treasury). Your syrup mines are at an end, as we told you quite a while back. Stop embarrassing yourselves by wasting your gold trying to win an unwinnable battle with just your Paras (Who tanked like crazy, pushed the wall about 1k away from the Admin. centre, and were then whooped by the arrival of more troops)

(2) PEACE shall not help you, or if they do, we shall still win. PEACE is already in Madrid (with most of their forces) and New Jersey (With the ones who think they are smart "sneaking past" the peace treaty). If they send help (and some PEACEniks may very well arrive to save you), they will almost certainly be unable to win unless they come en-masse (in which case they will likely lose one of the battles elsewhere).

(3) You have no excuses besides "Our army cannot win". It is getting old to see you attempt to justify every defeat even when we show we can win regardless (First it is "We weren't prepared and had no allies" followed by "That region was useless anyway, and our allies didn't help"). I don't doubt you will attempt to make this a "victory", so let me make this clear. If you do not save Alberta (and, at the same time, you don't admit it is a lost cause and let it fall), you have lost completely. You will have about as much authority in PEACE as Spain does. I know some Brits (The ones who aren't on our side, but are at least honourable enough to admit defeat and advocate reform) are getting tired of it too. Stop pretending every defeat is a victory somehow.

(4) You really should stop tanking. The British Paras simply cannot defeat the various mobile forces of Fortis/Eden in a tankfest, even when F/E is not tanking heavily. The fact is, you are outnumbered and outgunned. The only way you can win is heavy support from PEACE or some sneaky tricks to regain it later.