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The eUK Parties as Eurovision 2023 Acts

Day 5,656, 01:25 • Published in United Kingdom

• by Mr Woldy

Citizens!

Whilst we all still reel from Saturday's shock result and excitement we shouldn't pass over the opportunity to reflect about the big mirror of Eurovision and it's obvious parallels to ... the eUK!

I have consulted the eUK's departmento-scientifico to bring the definitive comparison between Eurovision acts and eUK Parties. Cutting edge science!

WRP - Albania, Familja Kelmendi

Clearly don't speak but try to get it together whenever they hear there's going to be a public vote.

GStQ - Serbia, Luke Black

Strong aesthetic but we aren't sure they're playing the same game as everyone else.

UKRP - Austria, Teya & Salina

Much like Edgar Allan Poe UKRP has been declared legally deceased for years and these Austrians haven't heard of them.

TRS - Finland, Kaarija

Full of energy and ideas but robbed of the win - but there's always next time!

TUP - Czechia, Vesna

Appears unified at first glance but upon closer inspection is in fact a troop of automata.

Well there you have it, the power of science. Next I'll get the departmentico-scientifico to figure out how to negate the carbon impact of this article. Watch this space (on dark mode)!

Thanks for reading,
Mr Woldy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Years ago I was asked to be King of the eUK. Regardless of that institution no longer (formally) existing I marked it by establishing a few charity schemes to encourage newer players to get involved. These schemes are still running. Feel free to message me for some free stuff if you are level 1-50 and meet any of the following criteria:

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Grab your free stuff

Comments

Addaway Day 5,656, 01:56

CHA CHA CHA

Turnbeutel Day 5,656, 02:04

Voted !

Sambo223 Day 5,656, 03:00

CHA CHA CHA

certacito Day 5,656, 03:03

For the record - I actually quite liked the Austrian entry.

Meanwhile - I can assure readers that, unlike Edgar Allen Poe, the UKRP is very much alive and kicking.

I would liken our performance more towards that of Graham Norton - the long standing anchor for the show.

Personally I would liken the TRS to the Croatian entry - full of energy and with a message - but delivered in a way that does not appeal to all tastes....

Mr Immanuel Kant Day 5,656, 04:05

Sarcastic, gets the point across and very camp - TRS are surely Graham Norton.

UKRP are Terry Wogan (RIP)

Mr Woldy Day 5,656, 04:12

CHA CHA CHA

certacito Day 5,656, 08:22

Nope - Terry Wogan, whilst possessing many similarities to the UKRP Team, is now sadly deceased.

The UKRP is (obviously) still very much alive....

Sambo223 Day 5,656, 13:08

News to me

Mr Woldy Day 5,658, 08:24

just kicking I think

AMD. Day 5,656, 05:00

CHA CHA CHA

JRCS Day 5,656, 05:59

Speaking as one of the 29 "automata" from the TUP I am instructed to say "Ha Ha" to this. There's no need for the other 28 to say anything because we all do as we're told and would only say the same thing! 🤣 🤣

Mr Woldy Day 5,658, 08:24

It'll be that spreadsheet breaking again

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