The Dirty 3rd

Day 831, 21:17 • Published in USA USA • by Necros Xiaoban

Day 9:

Life in the Dirty 3rd ain't so bad. I've been transferred into the 312th Platoon. I'm still adjusting to being around other soldiers. The Old Man ain't so old, just a butterbar LT too young to grow a beard, but he's not so bad.
He told me to stop referring to myself in the third person and saluting everytime I take a breath. Thats how the grunts talk to their CO in all the movies.
The XO aint so bad either. Or at least, I don't think he is.

Day 10:

Some sort of major shakeup going on at Headquarters. General Angelini has gone to the Marines, its a shame I didn't get a chance to meet him.
The LT is hilarious. I think he just needs a soldier to take him under his wing, and keep him out of the jailbait. I mean, I'm not saying there can't be a genuine relationship between a man and a young woman, only that you'll get locked up for it.
I told him its every soldiers responsibility to get the Old Man laid, and he in turn makes sure we don't blow ourselves up.
Apparently he thought that was a joke.

Day 12:

Life in the Ninjas is great. LT says I should be an officer, but I don't think I wanna deal with the hassle. Plus I'd have to transfer to another unit, and that'd just suck.
He's apparently been telling all the officers what I've been saying, and they think I'm crazy.
Former General Angelini is gonna kidnap me to the Marines, apparently.
ALSO, OMG, ANGELINI IS A WOMAN.



Getting kidnapped doesn't seem like such a bad idea anymore.

Day 13:

I STAND READY TO KILL REDCOATS!!!! WE HAVE INTO BRITAIN \o/
The day has finally come! HOOWAH! KILLIN REDCOATS, OH YEAH!

Day 14:

We're kickin ass and takin' names out there. GlaDOS, here we come!

Day 15:

I came for the wars, but I'm going to stay for the women. Captain Bia is -FINE-. I'd hit it with the fist of an angry God. Except, you know, Headquarters might frown on that sort of thing. That's alright though, I've got a plan.
I'm going to take the LT up on his offer for OCS, and then I'll just get promoted to Colonel. Nobody's going to interfere in a Colonel's business, right? Right. Then I can have all the women. It'll work out great, I'm sure of it.

Day 19:

Captain Bia just got promoted to Colonel, and transferred into the newly formed IG. Dammit.
I mean, YAY! \o/ YAY FOR BIA \o/
It sorta throws a wrench in my plans for a Reserves Division harem, but that's alright.
New Plan: Become General of the TC, and have ALL the women. I guess I really need to get promoted soon.

Day 21:

Our Lady Bia has announced Platoon Olympics to start shortly. Ninjas gonna whoop up on all them other guys. Wolves are trippin' if they think they can take us. They can't even SEE us! 😛

Day 22:



Ninjas gonna GET THAT GOLD! OHHHHH YEAH