Join the new world

We here at the Taishou (that is, me, Reiji Mitsurugi) are always interested in procuring new curiosities of a military nature, particularly those with some historical importance. But only once every decade or so do we come across such a monumental find as the one we have recently uncovered. In a dusty back alley not far from our headquarters in Matsuyama, I found and purchased a diary written by a soldier of the Japanese Imperial Army. Entries date from well before my own time, to wars that I have only read about in history books. Wars with China, with Korea and others. There are some entries from more recent times too. This soldier appears to have been one of my comrades-in-arms fighting the Swedish attack on Germany. The final entry seems to have been written in a foxhole in Korea, when this brave soldier presumably died fighting the rebels at Jeollanam-do. This exemplary soldier was Mitsuhiro Miyazaki, and his words are an inspiration to us all. Here, I will share with you some of Miyazaki's thoughts from the battlefield and beyond, that all Japan might learn from Miyazaki's experiences.

21.6.1877, (Editor's Note: It is unclear what system Miyazaki was using to date his entries. They appear completely random and follow no official government or military standards) Yokohama: Training is long and difficult. The days go by slower than a tortoise crosses the desert. The drill instructor is the worst part. Some of us here call him “Fire-Eyed Demon” because of a certain look he gets when somebody's form isn't perfect. It's especially tough when we're working the bo staffs. Sometimes I wonder why the Army still makes us practice the staff when there's no way in hell we're ever gonna use one on the battlefield.

But you gotta think about it from another angle. Training isn't just about making every soldier into a killing machine. Other armies might do that. The Romanians, the Indonesians (Editor's Note: This appears to have been written during the height of Romanian-Indonesian hostilities in continental Asia). Their soldiers are all about killing, and they're damned good at it too. But that's not what Japan is about. In Japan, we learn what we're fighting for. The bo staff builds concentration and a respect for history and culture. Plus, if it ever came down to it, I could rough somebody up pretty bad with a broom. The officers do kendo for the same reason (the history and culture, not the broom). They get Fire-Eyed Demons to drill us so we keep discipline. An unbreakable army of a few is always superior to a disorderly mob of millions. That's something they teach in war college, I think.


33.9.1880, Korean Territory, Jeju Islan😛 It's a beautiful place, this island. Some of the guys say it's prettier than any place in Japan. The waterfalls, the trees, the perfectly blue sky. Really, it makes me feel bad every time I set off a mortar. And the flame-thrower guys? Looks like they get tears in their eyes every time they suit up. Honestly, I wonder why we're even doing it sometimes. It may be bad to say so, but I gotta think, why does the government want us to tear this place apart anyway? Does Japan really deserve this island any more than Korea does? Why?

But the old saying goes: Ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die. The great heroes of history aren't the ones who tell the government to go shove it. We call those guys traitors. They're the ones who get to meet Jack Ketch, the Hangman (Editor's Note: The origins of this reference are unclear. They appear, however, to be foreign in origin. There is no earlier native Japanese reference to “Jack Ketch”). It's the soldier's job to gun that guy down. If the General says we're gonna make Jeju Japanese, then by Heaven's Grace we're gonna do it. That's what soldiers do. We follow orders.


6.12.1640, Satsuma: Peace time is a beautiful time. They say the most likely cause of death for a soldier during peace time is morbid obesity. Not that I believe that, though, since the officers are drilling us like crazy. Still, it's like a southern vacation compared to some of the battlefields. Plus, you can't beat three squares, free of charge, plus room and board. I hope the peace lasts forever. Some of the guys have got some itchy trigger fingers and are begging for action.

Not me, though. I always say the best army is the one you never have to use. So long as Japan is safe, I'm happy. And I'm twice as happy if I don't have to die to make that happen. Course, I'm willing to die. That's what you do when you agree to be a soldier. You tell the officers: “I'm Mitsuhiro Miyazaki, and I'm ready to die for Japan.” That's what I did, and I didn't lie. Still, even if you're willing to do something, doesn't mean you want to.



2.55.1938, Schwalenburg, Germany: Holed up in the government building in some tiny town in Germany, I gotta think about 'why' again. Things couldn't be more peaceful back home in Japan, so why did I just have to perform CPR on Private Okabe? The Germans got themselves into a mess, that's why. The Swedes decided it'd be funny to go marching to the Danube and since we're allies with the Doits (Editor's Note: This appears to be a slang term for Germans within Miyazaki's unit. No doubt it has its origins in one of the Japanese-language names for Germany: ドイツ or 'doitsu.' Interesting, since it appears Miyazaki, like most Japanese soldiers, had little to no knowledge of the Japanese language) we got shipped off to the middle of Europe to fight this battle.

And it isn't going well. We have casualties like crazy and the generals' favorite word is “retreat.” There's just too damned many Swedes and they've got some pretty nasty death machines up there. But I can't say I don't agree with the government. We've gotta be here. Japan isn't a fair-weather friend. Rain or shine, we'll look after our friends. Right now, it's looking pretty damp, but we'll fight to the end and drag the Doits back to Tokyo with us if we have to. Granny's got an extra room at her place in Sapporo. She wouldn't mind a few German guests, I don't think.


8.1.1898, Seoul, Korea: Well, it looks like some of the Koreans had a bit too much of the punch. A bunch of them went all crazy and started a violent rebellion. The government says civilians dead in the thousands for not joining or donating to or something else to the rebels. So we're shipping out to put the guys back in their place. Personally, I dunno why it took the brass so long to send us out. We could've saved some lives if we got moving quicker.

But ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die. That's the old saying. It's just a damned shame this had to happen in the first place. It's that “blame Japan” crowd again. The Koreans stir up the pot yelling about oppression or repression or obsession or something and all of a sudden we see people cutting up pregnant women with grain scythes. People are too ready to believe Japan, and especially the government is out to get them. It's damned crazy is what it is.

And when I go to put a bayonet in one of the crazies, I won't feel the least bit bad, I won't.


12.12.1912, Jeollanam-do, Korea (Editor's Note: This entry was barely legible and is only reproduced here in part, thanks to the sum total of the Ashigaru Taishou's linguistic staff): They say it doesn't look good. The doctors told me my (illegible) is ruptured and I've only got (illegible) hours left. How did it happen this way? I was supposed to retire in (illegible) with a pension. A nice house, a good wife, maybe even a (illegible).

I'm take full responsibility. I didn't see him. It was my job to see him. (illegible) were busy looking after themselves. I guess maybe I thought Heaven would look after me. But that isn't her job either.

(illegible) wait for Her (illegible). I go to her with Japan in my heart.



We here at the Taishou (that is, me, Reiji Mitsurugi) believe in all our hearts that Corporal Miyazaki is now enjoying all the pleasures of Heaven. His duty done, his sacrifice honored. He will be enshrined with the rest of Japan's great heroes. Having found Miyazaki's journal, I now give him one final salute, and hope that the soldiers of Japan today will learn from his example. Mitsuhiro Miyazaki, Blessings of Heaven upon you.

To end on a lighter note, I will offer you a pun. Miyazaki spoke only English, of this we are fairly certain. And so, in his language, we ask him to enjoy the fact that his nickname, a shortening of Mitsuhiro to Hiro, is a perfect homophone with the English word “hero.” Hiro the Hero, we hold you in our hearts.