The dead are returning to life

Day 813, 04:37 • Published in USA USA • by Necrosis

It seems the dead are rising from their graves. In what health officials are calling a biblical event, the corpses of redcoats slain on the fields of battle in the South East of England are returning to life.


The few English people left in the area after the military rolled in are seen here preparing to fight for their lives

Military officials are giving this uprising of the previously deceased priority. A previous chairman of the joint chiefs of staff was overheard commenting on the rotten stench that the zombie hordes were emitting. Some horrified onlookers fleeing the scene of this latest in a series of zombie outbreaks across the world were heard commenting that there was an overwhelming stench of pig, and that the entire situation was disgusting.

This is not the first time a zombie outbreak has attacked the USA. During the summer, there was a several month long outbreak of zombies. Often controlled by only a few ‘brain zombies’, the undead legions managed to rampage from coast to coast of America, with the defenders not being able to do anything against the unstoppable power of the newly dead.

Americans are advised to destroy the brain or remove the head. Science has shown that this is the best way to protect against an outbreak of the living impaired. People stranded in the affected area are advised to avoid shopping malls; even when there is no outbreak, such areas are a haven for the brain dead, and thus are predicted to have a large concentration of the living dead.


Not zombies, but they might as well be

The military have been rumoured to have facilities where they have been performing tests of a scientific nature on the zombies. Given the US militaries history which such studies, one would be forgiven for being sceptical of this. However, according to sources within the Pentagon, there have been successes, with test subjects, and as a result the military is well prepared for this outbreak.

The military is moving the protective cordon back, and firing can be heard in the distance right now, so this report has to end prematurely. Air support sounds like it is on the way, the panicked faces of other journalists at this movement of the press area are clear for all to see, and the situation may not be as under control as the military wants us to think.

Necrosis
I’ve covered wars, you know