The Cool Kids are in town.

Day 1,304, 16:29 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Sir Oric Von Lichtenstein

According to this person, there are five things that make someone "cool."


1. Self Belief and Confidence: Have a strong internal locus of control and are not afraid to be themselves no matter the social situation.

2. Defying Convention: Will be in careers that are born out of true passion (human rights, sciences, the arts) and will follow their passions - even if unconventional.

3. Understated Achievement: Successful but not overly showy. Further they regulate their outward expressiveness. They appear in control and not overly 'emotional'.

4. Caring For Others: Broad-minded and sensitive.

5. Energy and Sociability: Get out there.

Now, I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is.

Or something like that.



All I know is, after reading that, I strongly disagree.

So, without further a due, here's Oric's List of Things that Will Make You Cool (in bold).

1. Chainsaws


If you carry a chainsaw around with you, not only will people stare at you and think, "Wow. What a cool person," but they'll even call the police to let them know just how cool you are.

2. Anti-Perspirant Deodorant


Because smelling bad is just not cool.

3. Elephants


Watch out, world! Your fashion sense will be on FIRE, when you ride into town on one of these badboys.

Or if your pockets are little light, just watch Babar, instead.



4. Rectangles


If you can wear a rectangle, you can pretty much wear anything.

5. Freestyle Rapping


Why, here's one I wrote myself:

I've got a bad rash
On my back
It's turning my skin
White to black
I think I might have that bad Michael Jackson disease, only reversed.
My lyrics are so good, they're not even rehearsed.

See how cool that made me look?

6. Fonzy


When Henry Winkler dies, I'll be the first to wear his skin.

7. Ewoks


I know, I know. Cool, right? Just wait:


Picture provided by the Jhorlin household.

8. Lisp


Do you remember Ted Williams, the homeless man with a golden voice?


Well, how much cooler would he have been with a lisp?

& so, if you think you're cool, why not join:

The Cool Kids Party.

I'd have made a logo, but Babar was on, and you know how crazy that can get.