The Battle of Gauteng as seen by Beufort

Day 836, 10:46 • Published in South Africa South Africa • by Nickerball

On March 1st, 2010 the Battle for Gauteng took place, and what a battle its been.
Here is the course of events as it happened and seen by Beufort, who was one of the bravest soldiers ever to be known in eSouth Africa. Whilst fighting for dear life, he took on many a soldier and killed them in some of the most vicious and powerful attacks he could muster. He is indeed a very brave soldier

It was still dark ouside and suddenly out of nowhere there was a rumbling sound. It was the sound of tank tracks coming closer. The Brazilians stood is shock and in awe of this ernormous thing this…. it couldn’t be! Unbelievable shock was all over the Brazilians faces. It was! Big Brother, the beast of beast's was on his way!
He started firing. Bodies flew in every direction! A long trail of blood followed Big Brother’s tank tracks. Brazilians was screaming, running for dear life.
Zamrg, in the commander’s seat was laughing like a maniac. He’s screamed, he shrieked! His screams of "FREE THE SHEEP" were heard through out all of eSA! (Beufort was corrected here by Azreal who said it was actually goats)

Following Zamrg’s wild and maniacal behavior, a distinct sound of...American "Hippity-Hoppity" could be heard as well. The might Calew was on his way. With his snoopy pup hat on, the Brazilans stood no chance. He pulled out his Uzi and sprayed bullets in every which way!
Troll after troll died
And then out of NO WHERE pops...the one, the only...BEUFORT! Dealing the most horrible 43 damage again and again to the Brazilians. Everyone was silent after these attacks. No one dared to speak as Grimstone appeared on the battle field. Everyone was silent waiting to see what Grimstone was up to. Bam!! He pulls out…yes he pulls out a flower, cutting through the Trolls one thorn at a time, dealing them terrible damage.
Krimpie was hanging from the floor, biting his finger nails and eating cheerios while Lana was cheering on the soldiers. Her lap dancing and wet kisses was a huge morale booster to the guys. Even the channers were stunned by Lana.

But the real hero of the day was Travis W Hillis
What did he do? They don't know. But he did something! He drank his beer and rooted them on.
What a brave man he is. "FFUUUUUU TRAVIS" they shouted and back to the fight they went
While Grimstone kept killing the trolls with his dark red roses, his deep blue violets and the poison ivy. But it was the smell that got them. OH YES! The posion ivy (was actually his pee) was every where. Burning one Brazilian at a time while everyone was telling Beufort that he was crazy. Deep in his heart he knew he was nowhere near crazy, he was acting quite normal
Zamrg riding his Big Brother tank was terrifying! Zapping one goat fucker at a time!
"FREE THE GOATS" He yelled
They all said "o7" and they did as he said
AND THEN…it was tea time
Even Lana had a Q2 weapon
Out of no where appears LazerFazer with his lazor ZAP ZAAAAP ZAPPPPPPP!
&quot😉IE TROLLS DIE" He shouted
And the day was won
HURRAY!
[The goats are still being treated for excessive manhandling]
The END