The Ameriad

Day 607, 15:25 • Published in USA USA • by Blake Chrysostom


It was a dark and stormy night, and PEACE had gathered from afar and anon to the cavernous depths of its Hungarian lair. Zoli was there, the great troll, his countenance devious and foul to behold. Grakulan and GlaDOS had come too, their trollish faces concealed by the cowl of their dark mantles. The place was thick with shadow, a dark deeper far than night's own touch. Their Secretary General, Arthk, lounged on his dark throne as his minions did him obeisance.
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“My sons,” cried he in his cold, high voice. We have a new enemy. Romania has fallen like the toppling of a mighty colossus, it has broken into pieces and lieth in ruin. ATLANTIS has split asunder, its fragments tossed to the wine dark sea. Yet we are still beset all around by foes. How could this be when our enemies are strewn forth around us like the pieces of a broken egg?”
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The others feared to speak, knowing it could betoken ruinous deeds to whoever ventured the truth. Finally Zoli spake. Thus sayeth the troll, who ne'er feared to comment on any matter for the sake of mighty PEACE. "It is America who defieth us,” said he.
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The council grew disturbed and a great sound of muttering arose in the dark chamber.
“Enough!” Shouted Arthk, who arose from his gilded chair. "Yes," hissed he, pacing to and fro. "It is America, and Canada their loyal friend who dare defy us still. Now go forth, all of ye, and make ready your hosts, for the twain who flout their liberty in North America shall fall, and soon it shall be.”
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To their countries the council went, and rallied forth their troops, but one there flew instead to bright Washington, to a certain young President.

In a great White House stood he, in contemplation’s grip. Harrison Richardson, chosen by his people only days before. Young he was, and lustful, but loyal to his cause. Fear had taken hold o'er his heart, and he was wracked with grief, for he knew his people, how they loveth liberty and hold dear all ties of brotherhood. But he could not sit in silent fear.
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He had summoned forth his commanders. Eugene Harlot was there, gruff and battle-scarred. Somber One Eye at his right hand stood, and Emerick too, the one who was called Great. Young Chris Stanwick was there, the mighty forum guru. And Mjdiv, the people's voice, his pen in hand. So too was Knojerakk, and all the general staff, warriors all, they gathered in America’s brave name.
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“My friends and Americans,” cried Harrison, his voice both strong and clear. "I called you hear to let you know of vile PEACE's heinous plot. For Canada they will attack, and our fair country too, and all of us must lead the charge to stop their foul machinations. I call on you now in the name of freedom to sally forth and lead our troops.” And so it was, those noble captains standing round, that Harrison swore an oath: “I will not rest from mortal toil, nor shall my weapons leave my hand, till from PEACE’s ignoble wounds I free my native land.” And ringing him the commanders assented all, and swore the oath together with their brave President.
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Days later, the army massed around, Harrison stood once more among his chiefs, and thousands more of countrymen on Canada's cold soil. This time Harlot spake, “We will stain the snow and ice with blood before we leave brave Canada alone,” said he to raucous cheers and waving flags.
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The army stood solemn by, filled with great Americans. The elder statesman, Scrabman was standing by, ready for a fight. Joe DaSmoe was there, determination in his eyes, ligtreb too, and ssomo. NeilP99, Claire Littleton, Jamarcus too, and Ansen. Perrin stood by, with Kazeal and Zcia and a mighty host.
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Harrison strode forth to face the PEACE trolls there assembled. "Come to me, and let us fight" said he, with radiance on his brow. Arthk stood forth to duel, and the battle did commence. And all the army round them ringed, took up the heady cry:

“Come here PEACE fiends, come and die!”

And come they did, and died.