The Amazing Human Body

Day 2,014, 16:15 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by mick cain

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 2.9 kg.

The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women finish reading this on an average of 24 sec.


Men are still busy checking their thumbs.





I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. they said they regretted to
inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.





Wife says to husband "You only ever want sex when You're drunk"

Husband says "thats not true....... sometimes I want a kebab"




I bought the wife a Memory Stick, it's great

She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating.





The missus asked if she pleased me in bed?

I said "yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth." . .

"What trick?" she asked?

"The one where you shut it up and go to sleep!"




The current banking crisis explained by an Irishman

Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.



The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.'

Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'


Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'

Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'

Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, ' What happened with that dead donkey?'

Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 each and made a profit of £898'


The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £2 back.'

Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland .