Join the new world

After many sleepness nights thinking about how the eUK could become great again for the first time I finally fell into a deep sleep. However, man's greatest achievements have all been conjured whilst dreaming*; the TV*, the gaming console*, the internet*, football*. That is when it hit me! For the eUK to become great again we must become Leicester. So I have drawn up a 6 step plan to becoming the greatest eCountry the world have ever seen.

* I cannot confirm these facts


Step 1: Rathena's Son Must Take Part In An Orgy

So Rathena is trying to make this country great again and some may say she is succeeding. But there is a problem. What none of you know is that Rathena actually has a very short temper. She has tried to strangle me whilst I try to take a throw-in, and she has called me an ostrich. This is a major problem. So for step 1 of this masterplan Rathena must have a son, then we will all go to Thailand where Rathena's son will take part in an orgy with two other eUKers (but it doesn't matter who). Rathena will have to leave the eUK despite all the hard work she put in. Who will replace her? We just need to find a cheeky foreigner whose last attempt at leadership failed miserably... where's Alex gone?


Step 2: Local Hero Recruits Small Frenchman

For this next step we need a local hero who people outside of the eUK haven't really heard of (Huey? When he's not in the treasury I mean...). This person will be our scout, searching the world for a small foreign superstar who no one has heard of. Of course we must look to France to find this player, a player who is in the lowest division possible but will quickly rise up the ranks.


Step 3: Offer Everyone Food For Success

Our new cheeky CP will say lots of random things but we will never get mad at them because they look like a teddy bear with glasses. One thing they will do is offer every single person in the eUK some Q1 food if we manage to win a battle without even conceding a point. Why Q1 food? Everyone loves Q1 food, if we offered Q1 food to the citizens they would all flock to the battlefield and kill anything that moves. This is ensure we win a battle without conceding any points (which doesn't really mean much in eRepublik but we have to fit this in somewhere).




Step 4: Pretend To Be Bad So No One Tries Against Us

This step will take a few months as eventually they will realise we are the best in the world, but it should work. Despite us beating Asteria United 5-3 in the worlds greatest comeback last year (just pretend it happened, ok?) they still doubt our ability. During these few months we will see the rise of a chavy Englishman (I think we'll go with Astrid, sadly Frix is Scottish) and a silky Frenchman who is still learning English (Dapper is now French for the purpose of this mission).


Step 5: Suddenly Go Top Of The League(rboards)

Very unexpected. No one will see if coming besides the 5 million people who apparently placed a 5000/1 bet on this happening but have no proof they actually did so. We will go top and we will just have to ride it out until the end, basically when the servers shut down because Plato realises the monster he has created.


Step 6: Adopt the 4-4-Everywhere-2 Formation

This formation is possibly the greatest formation we could ever implement on the battle field. This is how it is meant to look:



And from there we should succeed!



And there you have it. As long as we follow the ways of the Leicester we should soon become the greatest eCountry the world has ever seen. Glory supporters from across the galaxy will buy our colours, even in the restaurant at the end of the universe they will put up posters of our heroes. So, are you ready kids?