Join the new world

Before I begin: isn't it exciting to be privvy to the Prophesy right before the six billionth Prophesy? I think it's swell. This is my first time publishing a Prophesy. The Dark Lord of the Nine-and-Seven Hells wouldn't allow me a single one before I finished dirtying his bathroom. That took six eternities (that, by the way, is not an exaggeration).

AND NOW, I PROPHESY.

Bodies

The Dark one has expressed his love for your acceptance of his system. He feels fulfilled now that at the very least the people of this eEarth have accepted his Deathless system. He finds Demons, minor Devils, apparitions, ghouls and leeches, while very good at terrorising the human psyche, have little to no power in the actual manipulation of them. With his new system of not rotting, once a human dies, and is condemned to eternal servitude to the Smiling Terror, which every person inevitably is, then he can continue his life as normally as he ever would, just with an evil zest. A Zevil. The way this translates into your "game terms" is as follows: if you fight in a war, regardless of whether or not you actually die, you will believe you haven't, and nothing will stop you from thinking that. You will, in fact, be secretly worshiping the Spicegod and doing his evil bidding. This ensures an eternity of war, and eliminates the inhibitions caused by fear of death when trying to steal from banks or ravaging the unwilling. In short, living forever just breeds Sin*.

It reminds me of an event which has passed. I once had the pleasure of torturing with Beelzebub (he's the Lord of the Flies: a Mosquito bothering you? That's him). During this infliction of pain, The Flies decided he would increase the regenerative process in the human biology in the particular section of the Sixth Hell we were in. During that time, he summoned a Locust Swarm vast enough to quite literally cover every single living creature on this planet. They fed. You can imagine what happened from there.

Bodies, Part 2: Also to do with Bodies

You have likely heard of the so-dubbed Swine Flu. Some of you may even have contracted it since it first sprang from the bowels of the Earth (that's pigs, in case you didn't know; the bible is quite right in that respect). This influenza, in fact, is a recurring joke. It's like this: The Malevolent One has an array of things in the real world that simply scare Humans. It's dreadfully amusing. Sometimes, he likes to rerelease them, under a different name, to see if it will renew the fright. It worked! The Swinish Influenza, though entirely unchanged from its predecessor, has made a global hullabaloo concerning the state of their old, young and sickly. In fact, some people are even afraid of the vaccine associated with it (understandably, since cows are terrifying).

To look for proof of this phenomenon, one needs only look at "S.A.R.S." and "Avian Influenza." Remember them?

Thank you, all, for your support in the future (and, I suppose, for your support now, but that's simply a step towards your support in the future). I will communicate with you all next week, with, hopefully, the six billionth Prophesy. Unless some other toilet of His becomes dirty enough...



Marquis.



*Note from the Editor: I bred Sin first. It was awful. Just ask that guy Milton. I told him what to say.