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After numerous eye-witness accounts of eUSA and eBrazil dragging their back-country all over the Amazon, the Treasure Map dug a little more into this mystery, penetrating deeper into it's soft underbelly.

What we found wasn't pretty.

Like the cold, hard rod of a colonoscopy's camera, we inserted ourselves into this issue, only to find that our worst suspicions were correct; Terra is experiencing a shortage in toilet paper.

"Yeah, you heard right." Said an anonymous source from inside the bowels of Terra's power structure.

"It's all this wiping we're doing. Wiping here, wiping all over the world, right? Hehe. A little wipe here and there isn't a problem. But all this large-scale wiping we're doing? It's putting a toll on the SPCCR."

SPCCR?, we asked. What could that be?

"The Strategic Poop Chute Cleanser Reserves. The Fightin' 2-Ply. Yeah, they've had trouble in the past, but now, they're strained beyond their breaking point. They're really trying to rip this one out."

Okay, we said. We must be going now, great interview.

"Thanks thank, you really tore this wide open."

Thanks...we appreci...

"It's really admirable how you guys get into your work. Down and dirty."