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Millions of Canadians stormed over the pond late Monday night into early Tuesday causing havoc all over the country. Irish police spotted the rabid Canadians, nearly 10 million in number, breaching the ocean waves travelling at a frightening pace at approximately 11 pm. The military was mobilized immediately to protect breweries and pubs, as it was expected the Canadians were tired of their weak sauce beer. But that wasn't what they were after.

In a surprise move, the invaders swiftly and apologetically captured every printing press, news room, and radio station in the nation. Reporters were removed from their posts being told "Sorry, Mann551 told us he'd give us gold if we did this. We'll be sure to take care of your things while we temporarily seize control of your papers. We'll be sure to give everything back adn leave peacefully when we're done. Sorry again for any inconvenience we're causing. Sorry." Mann551 was unavailable for comment.

It's unclear when this media attack will stop, but this totally legitimate, proud Irish newspaper will not give in to the Canadian takeove-

Ah, hi there! This is Thisidisnttaken and I'm here to say good day to ya. Or night. Yeah, Mann said "Free gold this way!" so I kinda just came along for the ride. Oh yeah, he told me to give this to the news guys to show I mean no harm



Anywho, I'll hand this back over to your good Irish lads. Thanks for letting me write this. Bye!