STUDY: Only 11% of Women Realize their Male Friends want to Sleep with Them
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by M. Antonius Olivo
A scientific study released by top Daily Boomstick™ Scientists revealed that amazingly only 11% of women realize that their non-gay male friends want to have sex with them.
“It’s an amazing disconnect from reality,” said Dr. Emily Clark who led the study. “Clearly these women were under the mistaken impression that men could ever think of anything other than sex, and could hold conversations with no other motivation than to share their feelings. Clearly our educational system has failed to prepare today’s young women for the truth. True male friends are very hard to find.”
Dr. Clark then flashed a benign smile to her friend and colleague, Dr. Frank Jacobson, who sighed in frustration and stared longingly at the way her hair shifted in the breeze as she spoke.
“These women should reconsider every male friend they have, and decide whether or not it is safe to get drunk around them.”
The study also revealed that 70% of the women questioned were under the impression that their non-gay male friends were actually gay.
MALE FRIENDS EXPRESS FRUSTRATION
Many otherwise sensible women still refuse to believe the results of the study. Karen Blanton of Cincinnati said, “My male friend Phil McMahan is always there for me whenever I need him. He listens to me, and comforts me when I need it. He shares his hopes and feelings, and never tries to make a pass at me. He is a true friend”
In response Phil McMahan issued a statement of dissatisfaction.
“I don’t understand what else I need to do to get her attention. I’m always there for her. I listen to her and comfort her when she needs it. I share my hopes and feelings, and I never make a pass at her.
God, I hate it when women do this! Why in the world does she think I’m having conversations with her?”
Karen is currently dating “Shiv” Nevarez, former drummer for the punk band “DeathMasque” who is currently serving 6 months in prison for punching her grandmother.
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Comments
Voted and subscribed.
very nice article, about time someone injected a bit of humour around here.
Voted, this is my kind of news!
Women,, sheesh,, who the F' knows,,
I basically rely on one rule,,
Treat a queen like a ho,,& a ho like a queen.
That pretty much keeps me laid on a regular basis
For anything in between,, i dont use my real name
don’t understand what else I need to do to get her attention. I’m always there for her. I listen to her and comfort her when she needs it. I share my hopes and feelings, and I never make a pass at her.
God, I hate it when women do this! Why in the world does she think I’m having conversations with her?”
lol QFT
STUDY: 90% of all statistics can be made to say anything, half of the time.
That was taken from a Direct TV or whatever commercial.
Heh.
This article is hiiilarious.
Go Boomstick!
i have this problem too. i try everything i can and the guy is totally clueless that all i want is to get his clothes off...
>i have this problem too. i try everything i can and the guy is totally clueless that all i want is to get his clothes off...
Uhmmm,,, are you naked at the time you’re trying to disrobe him?
IF NOT,, try that next time,
We men are really NOT that much into being wordy,, so if you hafta be vocal in your persuasion,, well,, lol,, he’s either “NOT that much into you” or quite frankly,,,, ghey!
Mkay?
Olivo is Great! You could be a writer for the Onion! Are you?
And yah, Aatticus is correct. To get his clothes off, get yours off first.
subscribed & voted, please subscribe to my newspaper too.
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