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I, Spiffy123, declare my candidacy for the Party President, of the Bastards of Liberty.

Hello my fellow Bastards. After reading that I am running for PP you must have a lot of questions. "Who is Spiffy?", "Why should I care?", and most importantly "Why is Spiffy so awesome?". Well ladies, and gentlemen, all these questions and more will be answered within this post. Or maybe not. I may possibly forget to cover it. Anyway on to my glorious vision of the future.

My opponents Emperor Rick, and Lord Dark Helmet like to mention how much experience they have running a party. What should you take from this? Well this is basically an attempt to hide their true form. They are actually Pfeifferists. They are the elites of this game, and they have come to manipulate you the humble, and may I say very good looking, above average voter, into voting for them. They have plans that make them sound like great candidates. But lets take a look at what the Joker from the Dark Knight has to say about plans.

The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon’s got plans. You know, they’re schemers. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I’m not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how, pathetic, their attempts to control things really are.

If you can't trust that fictional character, who can you trust?

Now lets take a closer look at Emperor Rick. Lets start with the name Emperor Rick. Now remove Rick. We are left with Emperor. Who was an Emperor? Napoleon. Who thought of Napoleon was a role model? Hitler. Basically Emperor Rick is Hitler. Don't believe me? Well look at this!

Moving onto LDH. It has recently come to my attention that he may eat children. What proof do I have of this? None. I have no proof. But doesn't it concern you that it even came up? I sure am.

Moving onto my platform. I am running on complete lack of knowledge on how to run a party. I cannot emphasize enough how little I know about this position. My huge deficit in not knowing anything about running a political party is a strength though. You know that I have no experience in this matter, so you also know that I am not a Pfeifferist. This meaning I am not corrupted with any personal, or elitist goals (like I am sure all of my current, and future opponents are). I am not even sure how I would go about taking a bribe *wink*wink*.

I have not filled any positions yet except for my VP, who is Suraron. This was his response upon me asking him

Suraron>: k, dont know a thing about it but ok

I could not have hoped for a better response! He then went onto say

: as vp, can i order the party some pizza?

To which I said yes, and he agreed to do. That is right, a vote for Spiffy/Suraron is a vote for pizza. I am starting to like my chances a whole lot more.

In recruiting my staff I will be looking at very specific credentials. First off you have to be level 1-20 as this assures that you haven't played the game long enough to be considered a Pfeifferist, or perhaps even how the game works. My second requirement is that you agree with whatever I say whenever I say it. This will go a long way in dealing with any inter-party problems, and should make the party run more efficiently.

My second great idea on how to improve the party is discourage any discussion with people outside the party. This assures that we don't become tainted with any Pfeifferists, or elitist scum. We don't need their elitist ideas, and we sure don't need any new ideas at all. We are fine with what we have right here right now. In order to enforce this I am contracting the Chinese to build a great wall of sorts around our party. This will ensure that no new, or different ideas are spread into the BoL. Now some of you maybe thinking that this sounds just like something a dictator would do. Let me assure you that I am no dictator, and that the word "dictator" itself was just invented by the elitist Pfeifferists to try to discredit me.

Thank you for reading this far. Let me tell you as the only person who has ever loved you, that this is a historic election for our party. There are so far two Pfeifferists running for PP, and only one free thinking, beer drinking average joe like you running. If I were to lose it would mean an end to not only our party as a broad minded shining beacon, but also possibly it could lead to the end of the world, and the genocide of millions of puppies. So I beg you to vote Spiffy123 because if you don't the blood of millions of puppies could be on your hands.

Voting for me could be the worst decision you ever made in your life, or the best decision. Either-or. There is no middle ground. I might be a great PP who does great things, or a horrible PP that destroys the party. By voting for me you would be taking a huge risk. But I know Americans, and Americans are not sissy cats (I'm looking at you Mazzy) that don't take huge risks. Just look at our recent recession.

So this July 11th-13th vote Spiffy123 for PP because without me you will probably lose all happiness in your life.

Your one, and only friend/lover,

Spiffy123

http://thebastardsofliberty.forumotion.com/t664-spiffy123-for-pp-if-you-are-going-to-waste-your-vote-why-not-waste-it-on-me#14939