South Africa: the gloves are off!

Day 636, 13:44 • Published in South Africa South Africa • by Ines Schumacher

I apologise in advance. This is going to quite an emotional article. Not because I’m a female and can’t control my hormones this time of the month, but because I am seething with frustration and anger.

As has been indicated in a few throwaway comments by the eSA cabinet today, we have been made aware of a new PTO threat to eSA.

A new one, you ask? Yes! There are currently three plans we are aware of and with the international way I want to promote this article, hopefully further whistle blowers (how I love you guys) will come forward and aid us in identifying all threats to our nation!

1. The Polish TO group
Remember these guys? They tried to TO Brazil shortly before our region return, a move which endangered our deal with Brazil. We didn’t want to get involved so we voiced our public non-involvement after they indicated we were helping them. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am now some pissed off Polish are after our ass.

2. Socialists
This isn’t limited to a specific group, although we have isolated the agitators and are keeping our eye on them. They want to turn eSouth Africa into a socialist paradise where everyone is rich and companies are regulated by government. Oh look, capitalism is the only way to run a country in eRep. Oh wait, they don’t care.

3. The American TO group
Now this is the one I’m going to get all Chuck Norris/Vernon Koekemoer about. First to fill you in on the details of this outrageous scheme. The initial plan was brought to my attention by a credible source and investigated further by our Intelligence minister Luc Praetor who has compiled a briefing to the cabinet which will be released after my article during the course of Tuesday.

It is a sad day where a group from our ally plans to TO eSouth Africa, a vulnerable country which we fought for months to get back at great cost to us.

The previous party president of the Conservative Victory Party (CVP) in the eUS was outvoted in the August party elections (well, he will be once admins get their hamsters in a row). In a recent article, he rained scorn on President Emerick’s treaty with PEACE.

In his most recent article, he also hints at a secret plan he is working on which involves an exodus of like-minded party members from the eUS to settle in a new country where they can rebuild the economy and start from scratch in a "civil society".

Surprise! eSouth Africa is the secret country, ladies and gentlemen.

Extract from the article published 16 Aug 2009: ".. any and all Patriots are welcome to join us as we leave to a secret destination country where all who wish to be granted citizenship will be welcomed in. We can use this opportunity to build a better and more civil society. We will need businessmen and I encourage all who come with us to establish businesses to support the thriving economy that we will create with our immigration there ..."

Now take a moment to take a deep breath because when I read these words I nearly hit the roof. I have more proof that was sent to me, confirming he is talking about eSA.

I already feel my anger bubbling up again at the thought of this plan. How dare this group plan to TO a nation just because they disagree with what their own nation is doing. I declare it cowardly and disgusting. Stay and sort out your own shit, people.

And now I would like to ask a simple question to this group: why? Apart from being pissed off about your own situation of course. eSouth Africans have spent months in exile negotiating for Limpopo. We spent over 300 gold for this region, fund-raised for a Q5 hospital, came up with a soon-to-be-implemented tax strategy, are encouraging international investment and are joining the Sol alliance to participate in war games.

In short, this is our eHome. Not yours.

We have been more than welcoming to all sorts of foreign groups who want to help us. How dare you take advantage of this and plan to TO our congress and implement your own little utopia?

Who the hell are you to waltz in here and ignore the people who have been involved in rebuilding this country for months?

Well, I have news for you. We are a tough nation that will not back down in the face of adversity. We have many friends and allies we can call on to help us overcome your selfish and dishonourable endeavour.

You should be ashamed of yourself. But you probably aren’t because you’re a bunch of selfish PTOers. We know your kind.

If you are wondering why I choose to deal with this in such a public way and not all hush-hush then here is your answer: Shout this article! Promote this article! Vote it up! I will advertise it around the world. Let’s humiliate the shit out of this scum and garner as much international support as we possibly can to combat this threat to our home.

We will never be silenced again. We’re eSouth Africa, hear us roar!

International supporters: please get in touch with me if you want to help us. Anyone can get citizenship and vote for eSouth Africans!
Local lads: vote for our approved congress members to keep these randoms out of our country.

We are watching these guys and you will all be kept in the loop. Subscribe to this paper to get regular updates and instructions!

~ eSA president