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A man and a woman who had never met before,
But who were both married to other people,
Found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,
They were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,............ 'Ma'am,

I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?

I'm awfully cold.'


'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!.................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. ..............'Get your own f---king blanket.'

After a moment of silence, ...........................he farted.

The End




SIMPLE TRUTH 1

Partners help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats".

But none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".

Moral of the story: Hard work is never appreciated.

No Underwear - Makes Sense to Me

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch
in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

'Granddad, what are you doing? Your private parts are out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

'Granddad, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said, 'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on
and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandmother's idea.'

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Rolls than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

THERE YOU HAVE IT...

and remember, life is good.




A man moves into a nudist colony.
He receives a letter from his grandmother
asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new

location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a

nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.

The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent

The bottom half of the photo. He's really

Worried but then remembers how bad his

grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't

Notice.

A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his

Grandmother, It says: "Thank you for the

Picture. Change your hairstyle... It makes your

Nose look too short."

Love,
Grandma