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WARNING: IF YOU ARE NOT INTO PARODY PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED READING.
THE AIM OF THIS ARTICLE IS NOT TO INSULT ANYONE. THE MATERIAL MAY NOT BE BASED ON ACTUAL FACTS. IF YOU ARE A SERBIAN NATIONALIST THE PROBABILITY TO FIND THIS ARTICLE OFFENSIVE IS HIGH. THEREFORE STOP RIGHT THERE AND DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. NAVIGATE AWAY FROM THIS PAGE AND READ ANOTHER NEWSPAPER.



As you all know today is a special day. It’s 15th February: Single’s day. Yeah that’s right! It’s that day right after Valentine’s Day in which people’s whining about their sexless life has reached its climax.
They had this day invented pretty much for bawwwwing.
As they lamely attempt to act indifferent to lovie dovie couples who are enjoying their love to the fullest, they only prove how pathetic their little lives are. Being in constant denial, they actually tell their engaged friends they have great plans for the night by usually saying how much fun they’re going to have and all the crazy shit they’re able to do because duh they are free and then over again repeating basically the same corny phrases. Having realized how desperate their single friends are, they end up telling them to have fun, eventually making them believe they’ve bought the whole story.

And of course they’re going to have great fun. They’ll just gonna sit there in front of the TV set or the computer trying to fill the void by miserably failing as a result.
So all you esingles do you really want to be like these people? Aren’t you tired from all the lies and excuses you have had to make up all over these years? Do you really want to escape from this vicious circle? Well you won’t if you stay still.
Don’t worry. We have the solution. This year will be different from the previous ones. This year’s Single’s Day is going to be exciting. We propose to become ONE with Serbia on this blessed day.

Time has come for forever-aloners to unite and give all their love to a nation who is just as needy as them.
[img][/img] That would be Serbia. You mean the same Serbia which spilled the blood of thousands of innocent people? NO! That’s not Serbia! The real Serbia is much different than we think.
Serbia is one of the most misunderstood countries. As a matter of fact Serbia’s sufferings have continued for a very long time.
First of all, Serbia is just like an abandoned child who has lost his mommy’s love a long time ago. Awwww poor little thingy. Only now did we understand that Serbia’s actions are not to blame.
Wtf is wrong with the world? Don’t people have any compassion?
So this is one of the main reasons why Serbia went emo and created its emo corner in Kosovo. You now get it why Serbia’s angry?
Secondly, Serbia was part of a Great family, in other words Yugoslavia.
But apparently fate was harsher than ever, and poor Serbia lost all her family and not only that but she even gained their hate which is unexplainable and bewildering. I mean all Serbia wanted was to love and to be loved. Her only problem was that she perhaps was a bit too affectionate and may have overreacted a tad by giving hugs till asphyxiation or bone breaking and sometimes ripping some limbs in the process, that’s all. Deprived from her rights, Serbia became greedy for love.
Today Serbia is lonely and she has no one to love except herself, again another explanation to Serbia’s narcissistic behavior. On another thought, maybe Serbia’s obsession to claim everything good Serbian, is actually a way to express her love and appreciation. Let’s all head to Serbia and host a party! Serbia probably has lots of presents for you and is sure fun to be around.
Serbia’s got cookies.


SERBIA’S A COUNTRY ALL ABOUT LOVE! It just isn’t fair for Serbia to be cursed since birth.
This is your chance to show Serbia that she’s not alone, that she’s not the most hated country in the world. Give Serbia the love she’s been denied from! Let Serbia hug you. Do not be afraid of white razor scars in her wrists. Those times will be soon forgotten as soon as you become ONE with her. Remember that you’re saving a life and because of you Serbia won’t attempt suicide anymore. Do not scoot away when you touch Serbia’s ice cold skin. Serbia’s certainly is warm, so you just have to keep looking for the warmth. Your body might be shivering by now, but you have to ignore it. It’s just psychological. The frost is not really there. Soon you will start to feel a piercing pain in your skin. Serbia’s is unarmed, so what is it? You’ll have this crazy impression that death is under your skin. Yeah crazy, but you’re still scared. It’s probably your fault because you haven’t been trusting Serbia. Guilt is causing this to your body and brain. Everything is fruit of your imagination and yet it feels so damn real.
Now for God’s sake stop being so paranoid and let your guard down. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. Serbia’s harmless.
As you close your eyes, darkness will swallow you. You’ll see how happy you made Serbia as she’s holding your body like a tedy bear.
Congratulations you have saved a life at the cost of losing your own life.
Be proud of yourself. You are ONE with Serbia.