Serbia, new tourist attraction! (PARODY)

Day 1,545, 03:08 • Published in Albania China • by FreeAlbanianSpirit
WARNING: IF YOU ARE NOT INTO PARODY PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED READING.
THE AIM OF THIS ARTICLE IS NOT TO INSULT ANYONE. THE MATERIAL MAY NOT BE BASED ON ACTUAL FACTS. IF YOU ARE A SERBIAN NATIONALIST THE PROBABILITY TO FIND THIS ARTICLE OFFENSIVE IS HIGH. THEREFORE STOP RIGHT THERE AND DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. NAVIGATE AWAY FROM THIS PAGE AND READ ANOTHER NEWSPAPER.







If you are planning to visit a country in the Balkans, don’t choose Albania nor Bosnia & Herzegovina. While Greece is getting a too mainstream destination, instead pay a visit to their Orthodox brothers, Serbia.
Don’t go to the land of eagles, ouzels or cats… visit the Land of Servants. They will immediately become your slaves and be at your service. You won’t be disappointed.
Belgrade and Novi Sad are a must-go. If you are a fan of subzero temperatures, then you’ll love The White City aka Belgrade, at this time of the year. It’s -35°C there.
During the winter Serbia becomes literally Siberia, just like werewolves at the full moon.
Belgrade is a fantastic place.
Its main characteristic is the gray color which is omnipresent, including the buildings and even people themselves. No wonder Serbia has one of the highest rates of suicide.
Ironically enough even though they are servants by nature, they think of themselves as Gods.
They hate everything except mother Russia which now doesn’t really give a damn about them. Actually Russia remembers about Serbia only when she needs it to use it as an ash tray.
Ignore the massacres they’ve done to Bosnians or Albanians. Serbians are known as one of the most hospitable people in Europe.
If you happen to see their hands covered with a strange red liquid and you think it's human blood, then you are very wrong sir! It's just tomato sauce which they have been lovingly preparing for their guests.
Talking about cooking, Serbian cuisine is amazing and has some of the most delicious dishes which they present as their own, when in reality they are of Turkish origin.
Everything good is Serbian. Tesla is Serbian, Mother Theresa, Skanderbeg, even God is Serbian.
This cancer of Europe is the World’s 8th wonder.