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In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.After one day, these were the results:

The first worm in alcohol - dead.Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.Third worm in sperm - dead.

Fourth worm in soil - alive.

So the Science teacher asked the class - "What can you learn from this experiment?"

Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms."


Father : What were the 2 hardest things u learned in college?
Son : Opening beer bottles with teeth and lighting cigarettes with only one match left in heavy wind.

A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?'

He answered, 'Call for backup.'

A wise school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school:
"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.