Say no to Chaz for PM
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by mwcerberus
Hello everyone I’m mwcerberus and I have made it my goal this election season to stop captain chaz beard from becoming PM, yes that lovable rogue who wishes to bring fun to the eUK but couldn’t organize a piss up in a brewery.
This dangerous character must be stopped from ever rising to the top of the eUK political pile. I honestly believe that should he enter office a rain of fire shall rain down upon UK Yes he may be a very likable character who would be awesome at conversing with our allies and enemies alike but he is also a dangerous nutter.
BUT I hear you asking what qualifies me to lead this charge? A very good question.
Well on 2 previous occasions I have single handed derailed a political campaign.
Last month a little known candidate was beginning to look as if he had a real shot at the PM’s chair and his name was Alfagrem.
I broke this story ‘Alfa wishes to ban the triangle (musical instrument)’ and alfa hates all triangles.
What Happened next?
Within 1 day of me uncovering this dirt on alfagrem he has resigned a candidate. My article started a s**tstorm for poor old Alfa and he was forced to resign.
Last month a new candidate was rising (5 marbles butjam) he had evil intentions and I needed to take him down.
What happened?
I got my boots on and I took him down. But it was very close I almost failed in my attempt.
Richie: 229 votes
5 marbles Butjam: 223 votes
It was tighter than a badgers arse but I did it I took him down(town).
I broke scandals about him, I bribed officials and I pleasured business men all to stop this man from gaining the PM chair and I succeeded.
This is why I’m the best man for the job don’t worry people leave stopping him to me.
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Well, er, yes Mr. mwcerberus, I agree, you see I have a report here that says
to be a good eUK politician you need to be an extremely dull person. You see,
experts describe them as appallingly dull fellows, unimaginative, timid, lacking
in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour, tedious company
and irrepressibly drab and awful. And whereas in most professions these would
be considerable drawbacks, in eUK politics, they're a positive boon. I agree with
you that CptChazBeard shares none of these attributes and would only damage
the eUK by making it a more fun and interesting place, so I take up your call...
SAY NO TO CHAZ, SAY NO TO FUN!
Horice (:
I've been attending as many funerals as I can to bring my enjoyment down. I am trying!
I find Peter Gabriel's solo efforts does the job nicely...
Chaz is an ambassador to Antarctica, hopefully they can lend us Resource Territories with him as PM.
hear they have lots of..errr....ice, and..errr...Penguins
don't they come from the Antarctic, or is it Burma?
Horice (:
They won't give a yard unless we up our mackerel exports 🙁
WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN???
Don't worry Goku is dealing with the children...
http://tiny.cc/ia69sw
Horice q:
Saved to hard drive 😃
Chaz couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.......seems eminently qualified for CP then.
no he isn't shhh you don't get an opinion as it's not the same as mine
lol'd nice
You justified trying to bring him down by saying that you've brought people down before. That's ridiculous.
no i justified my ability to bring him down by my past successes next article will be why he needs to be stopped. Was meant to be out today (sat) but i'm ill
Why would Alphagrem hate triangles? It is the strongest shape