Russia, Michael Porter Would Like To Apply For The Party President Position

Day 1,088, 10:24 • Published in Russia USA • by Michael Porter
Gentlemen.

Ladies.

Halfsies.

Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Tired of working at dead-end jobs to bosses that won't even take the time to say hi while they're outsourcing your job to whatever country you get conquered by next week? Tired of your rights being trampled by those that say you need "elections" and "constitutions"? No more. No more will this great nation have to deal with the troubles of Constitutions, nor Democracy.

For far too long have your "leaders" tried to trample you, strangle you with capitalism and rule books. Trying to make you think inside the box in a game that is 99% out. The time has come for an outsider to show you the way. A true outsider: someone with no party, no ideals, no country, not even an account to care about to hold them back. I will abandon my party and my ideals for you. I will blow up this entire country for you if it was deemed necessary. I will get myself and everyone else permabanned in the great name of the party that I will erect in my image ALL FOR YOU:

NO MORE RULEBOOKS



NO MORE BOX TO THINK INSIDE OF



NO MORE ELECTED LEADERS



THE TIME HAS COME FOR THIS



I have been reborn Russian, and it's time redeliver this baby Russia into the giant, infant-crushing, red-eyed machine beast we god damn well know it can be. Are you psyched? Good. Because there's only three days left until you need to vote for me in the Constitutional Democrats party president election. Until then, I expect you all to please yourself for 72 hours straight to this nationalism porn:






^ She's Russian ^

With no sincerity because we're tougher than that,
Michael Porter

Future Ruler of Russia, which will be Ruler of the World