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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.

Reasons to Consider Emigrating to Pakistan

Day 4,011, 14:38 • Published in Pakistan

• by Murat X

I would like for you, dear readers, to consider living in the fertile valleys of Pakistan, and to help shape the future of this wonderful and vibrant country. The reasons are myriad!

1. We are a small country. The chances for you to get directly involved in politics are at your fingertips. Quite literally, you can get out what you put into Pakistan.

2. Our resources are great for aircraft weapons and housing. Balochistan is one of the best places in the known universe to build a plant to exploit our vast mineral wealth.

3. We're enemies with Poland and Iran. We'd like to work out our differences someday, but for now, we'd be more interested in crushing their cultures and nuking their schools. Someday, we'd like to tone that down a bit so that our countries remain relatively free of atomic waste and the carnival of cannibalism that always seems to befall a nuclear escalation.

As committed as we are to mutual assured destruction and the defiling of each other's civilizations, one day we'd like to see our relations with these troglodytes (who are not fit to breathe our air) normalize in the wake of a giant pyramid of radioactive skulls.

Consider Pakistan.

It's not so bad.