Real reason for the invasion of the UK

Day 810, 13:07 • Published in USA USA • by Necrosis

Many people would have you believe the invasion of the UK is a revenge and retention tool. This is false. I can, today, reveal exclusively the real reason for the current war in the country which created Shakespeare, an act for which it is rightly paying.

He who controls the spice controls the universe

Americans behind enemy lines discover the source of the spice

It is a little known fact, passed down through fables through the ages, that he who controls the spice controls the future. I ask the readers to control their shock at this startling revelation.

The effects of this ‘spice’, or Melange, are enormous. At the basic level, it increases a player’s life span, and heightens their awareness. This allows them to fight all day every day. The importance of controlling the spice is now evident to you all, I hope.

Using intelligence gathered from the UK’s biological weapons department, the CIA was able to discover the exact location of the largest store of spice. Josh Frost was unable to be reached for comment as to his plans for this at the time, however using state of the art neuroimaging techniques, and more importantly some voodoo magic, this paper can offer you this amazing snapshot of the thoughts of the current President.


How we got this image is probably too complicated for you, so just trust me when I say it is legit

The true goal of this invasion against the UK is clearly seen in this amazingly scientific picture. World domination is the true goal of the USA. I for one welcomed our new feline overlords several months ago, and so should you. In order to realise the dreams of King Frost, you must buy guns and head for London

The spice must flow.