Raiding History, tracking Ratels, and Holism

Day 2,101, 15:03 • Published in South Africa South Africa • by Luc Praetor


A parody, but, please make it seem like you're taking it seriously

Pretoria, South Africa - The eSANDF (eSouth African National Defence Force) organisation on Wednesday defended a raid by military police on the eSA National Museum of Military History.

Major-General Greekpwner said the action was in line "with the new crime prevention strategy of the Department of Defence".

Greekpwner said, after some further pestering by our reporter, "Throughout the investigation, military police followed standing prescribed procedures after receiving reports of alleged crime, now quit hounding me!".

Military police raided the Department of Arts and Culture-owned museum in Saxonwold, eJohannesburg, on Wednesday after receiving information that "war-capable weapons and vehicles" were being stored on the premises.

Wingfield, a visiting statesperson, was visibly shocked, and seemingly uncomfortable. "But it's a military museum, of course they'll have weapons!"

Zamrg, the museum's director and a retired major, and two curators, Mezu and Prelen, were led away in handcuffs, accused of possession of "suspected stolen" Q7 and Q6 military equipment.

They were jailed overnight and released on Thursday morning without being charged.

After the raid, the eSANDF hauled away an example each of a Q7 Eland, a Q9 Buffel (as yet unconfirmed by eAdmins) and a ferret-like armoured vehicle, the Q7 Nyala, as well as a Q7 Ratel infantry-fighting vehicle.

All had been on public display at the museum for at least 400 eDays and the eSANDF, itself, sends more than 30 concepts of Qn vehicles to the museum, annually.

eMofokeng said on Thursday morning that no more arrests had been made and no further equipment confiscated.

An internal investigation "to determine negligence or other possible offences which may have been committed by people entrusted with the disposal of arms" was continuing. "The cache of cherry bombs built up by the eApartheid administration was never destroyed, what else to do, it was evidence of the machinations of the former ruling eNational Party. The cherry bombs were of historical importance!", uttered an encuffed Mezu.

eMofokeng also said discussions were being held between the eDepartment of Defence, the eDepartment of Insinuated Grief (the same department that endorses soccer players accused of 'faking near-fatal injury' after slight contact), the Afrikaans flagship eATKV (The organisation specialising in making Afrikaans speakers think that they still have cultural influence), and SOLIDARITEIT (the Afrikaans union attempting to represent white Afrikaans shopworkers). All this, on the orders of the Department of Arts and Culture.

The eMuseum was opened by Jan Smuts on eDay -73732. He said then he hoped it would "serve as a warning to us to create an eWorld in which we shall never have to use again the weapons of death and destruction ... or those dreadful weapons to follow them".


*sic* He never envisaged eRepublik. ~ Editor


But Jan Smuts did define Holism, which Einstein validated. The realWorld-famous Johannesburg Museum of Military History has 40,400 exhibits including the only surviving and short-lived Q7.31 Whatalotigot-Hopevirmy Smartie bomb (click the IMAGES tab).

After all this hoop-la, years of effort in finding neglected Qn defence-force equipment from all over eSA, may have been hindered. "Just imaginme, ten years from now, I could already have discovered this landmine if that Q7 Buffel wasn't confiscated by the military police."

Some have even alleged that the new eSA artillery park in eBloemfontein is in danger of becoming a "raid" theme park.

As our reporter was losing his final interest, Ejdatful earnestly tried to validate this action, If we had let the museum keep these artificats, these three curators could have razed Soweto (SOuth WEstern TOwnships) within two minutes. Who could possibly trust these historians to not attack an innocent suburb?"

~ Another article consumed for eRepublik use