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The Fieldist Volume II, Issue 5
The News James Monroe Doesn't Want You To Know!

Pan-American Lobby Steps Out of Shadows
The Pan-American Lobby, the shadowy organization that engineered the Mexican-American War, is emerging from the shadows, opposed only by the minds of some citizens, and a broad movement concerned with America's world image.

The newly formed American Imperialist Party, led by the extremely unknown Sir Alan Powell, and clearly based off the ruins of the old Progressive America Foundation, has been transformed into an all out Imperialist entity, unafraid to voice the most ambitious of potential American futures. Said one member of the Panambies (who refused to give her name), "the AIP is a bold new step in the future of the country. For too long, we've hid in the shadows, and now we look to strangle American democracy." She then laughed maniacally for a minute and forty seconds. Her auburn hair which was tied in a bun came undone.

When we asked about the American spirit of not having titles like sir, she simply dismissed such concerns, waving emphatically while she rearranged her amber-framed horned-rimmed glasses, "Oh, pish-posh, that's the kind of backward thinking we have in the old America. Once we've established elbow room for Americans in the rest of America, that kind idea will be as old-fashioned as the Constitution or Congress."

Mad Fleming Proposes United Western Hemisphere
But, when prompted about the "One-America" Campaign, she said, "oh, them... well, we can't all have the brains." She then rolled her eyes and sighed, blowing some stray strands of hair on her forehead up into the air. The "One-America" Campaign is a Panamby at their ugliest, lead by what's clearly a Flemish madman. Espousing the conquest of "Mexico, Latin America" and then Canada, it uses revved up rhetoric, mostly male-centric language, and some baser things that we at the Fieldist think are unbecoming of an American newspaper.

We interviewed an assistant to the "One-America" Campaign, who refused to give us his name. "Look," he said, while chewing on his shirt, "we just want America to be strong. Not that it isn't already strong, but it could be stronger. I mean, if we just all stop whining and don't complain, there's nothing we can't do. And as for the American countries that don't like us now... well, nothing makes people more inclined to like you when you've smashed them, teach them that they're lesser than you, insult them constantly, and then yell at them. I've tried other ways when I was little, but it didn't work." He then hid under his chair and refused to come out.

The Fieldist's Thoughts
The Fieldist supports the incorporation of three new states and their senators. An equal representation of the newly incorporated peoples is a must, in a fair and democratic society. But we've reported on the inane ramblings of the Panambies before, and we find them to be distasteful. As Americans, we must support self-determination as a principle... so long as it advances our own interests and harms those of our enemies.

Editor-in-Chief's Continuing Saga
I went to the police, but they didn't believe my story. Anyways, after a protracted shoot-out with the police, I managed to escape down a back alley and disappeared into the the Elmwood Neighborhood.

I've learned that Anita Bath has taken over at eBrown as the researcher for the Picayune, lending credence to my Bath got Smith to kill Houston theory. But it a city like Providence, where it rains all year round, except during the rainy season, when it snows like a [expletive], no one seems to care. I guess the rich like Smith do live off of Power St., but most of us, well, we just live off Hope.
(Last two sentences not entirely original to this paper)