Quotes and Why you shouldn't Fart in Bed (Article 2)
Day 780, 17:30
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Published in USA 
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by
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by vvhite1knight
[img]http://www.corbisimages.com/images/42-21106279.jpg?size=67&uid=89BB3C7C-23B7-4F4C-83E7-599C27946DD2[/img]
Don't FART IN BED
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so
hard, let me know and I'll pray for you. This is a story
about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The friction in their marriage was the husband's
habit of farting loudly every morning when he
awoke. The noise would wake his
wife and the smell would make her eyes water and
make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop
ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he
couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the
turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked
at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver
and all the spare parts. A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl
and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and,
gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his
underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with
his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a blood curdling
scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The
wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears
in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty
good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his
face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the
matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have
warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,
and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline,
and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
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