Presidential Platform - WarPig Has the Power
Day 799, 18:18
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Published in USA 
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by
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by PigInZen
WarPig Coming to a Region Near You, Phoenix
Let's admit it. After the excitement of this past summer, the United States battling for its very existence followed by our campaign to rid ourselves of our Portuguese, French, Hungarian, Indonesian, Russian and Columbian (forget about them?) occupiers, followed yet again by our mostly-successful campaign in Asia things have gotten a bit BORING around here. There are reasons for that but that's not the point of this article. The point is, what the hell are we going to do about this, America? Yes. What exactly?
I'll tell you what: we're going to assert our authority. Yep, that's right, I've been alluding to it for weeks now. I want MOAR WAR.
To get you pumped up for this I found a little tune that I like. So what if it's a war protest song? It has my name in it. PIG.
ORLY? Just WHERE Is This War Going to Happen?
Let's stop kidding ourselves. We look like assclowns with all of our threats aimed at the UK with nothing to show for it. I'm ready to admit it. I'm sure most of you can agree, too. Let's put up or shut up, shall we?
Here's my plan. I intend to have multiple war plans drawn up for a variety of targets. It's no secret that we have a serious problem with the UK. They're on the list. I'll put them at NUMERO UNO. Who else is on the list you ask? Well I just happen to have one right here in my pocket...
The US (S)HIT List
1. The UK. No explanation needed.
2. Mexico. These double-crossing, back-stabbing "neighbors" of ours allowed another nation to rampage through our territories right as we started gaining traction. AFTER we signed a Non-Aggression Pact with them. We need and deserve PAYBACK. And we won't accept American Express or Pesos, either. NUMERO DOS
3. Columbia. This is who Mexico let through. Why Columbia thought they could take us on and not pay a price, I have no idea. But we've let this slide for too long. NUMERO TRES.
4. Brazil. I will never understand why we tolerate Brazil's hegemony in South America. How many countries does Brazil keep under it's thumb, anyway? Seven? Eight? Nine? It's time for the US to claim its rightful spot as badasses of the Western Hemisphere. And gee, how convenient, we can go through Mexico and Columbia to get there. And nicely, there are high diamonds to claim as well. NUMERO QUATTRO
5. Russia. AKA The Big Bowl of Borscht. (Ever had borscht? It's beet soup and it's nasty. Perfect metaphor.) Russia is the badass on the block, the bully that is always a mess, snot running out of his nose, wearing a wrinkled dirty shirt stained with the blood of those he pushes around. NUMERO CINCO
6. Indonesia. We may not be able to get there easily but certainly we can plan for it. How great would it feel to see Australia or Malaysia sitting in Java or Sumatra? I mean seriously, we've already chased their asses back home, let's FINISH THEM. NUMERO SEIS
Oh NOES! Pig Named Names!
I'm sure there will be a ton of complaints that I'm jeopardizing our national security by making this target list public. Sure, I can see that. But who are you kidding, anyway? Everyone knows who our enemies are, we can't hide that so accusations that making a list and COMMUNICATING IT TO OUR VOTERS are just stupid. Seriously. How else are you all going to know what's going on? I'm not afraid to tell Americans just what is what. I'll shoot the dice at the craps table and when I make that point we can all celebrate together at the Casino bar. Drinks will be on me. Hey, I might even buy two rounds.
COME ON AMERICA, LET'S GROW A PAIR!
Let's stop being timid and start DOING SOMETHING. Along the way we can have some good laughs and get some serious damage dished out. And hopefully give you all a reason, A STORYLINE to keep playing.
Or I guess we could start arguing about hospitals or taxes or write some threatening articles that aren't backed by dick...
E Pluribus Unum. From Many, One.
I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: Together we have strength beyond measure. Do your part. Follow DoD orders. Fight with weapons. Maintain your wellness. SUPPORT THE CAUSE.
VOTE PiZ4FEB!
Make the world a better place...
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Make the world a better place...
First denied.
third denied
Gee, it sure is BORING around here.
How about Hungary on the list? Croatia and Romania have activated MPPs. They need to be on the list!
PIZ FTW!
Push all the buttons at once! DO IT!
Fuck Yeah!
"I'll tell you what: we're going to assert our authority."
Our authority extends to 51 regions and 51 alone: 50 states and that sh*thole called D.C.
@ Aeron because Hungary and Serbia are 2 strongest countries in the eWorld atm besides Poland.
Sure we dont have that much godld but if Romania and Croatia activate our MPPs a 20k gold loan form Russia would be all it takes to wipe them both out in a few days.
Let's see it, Warpig 😃
Lt. Scheisskopf
http://www.erepublik.com/en/newspaper/stars-and-stripes-journal-191155/1" target="_blank">http://www.erepublik.com/en/newspaper/st[..]155/1
and LOL @ this list activating Indonesian and Russian MPPS would mean a quick end to America in Asia and probably and end to China and Malasya if you use them too.
Australia has a non aggression pact with Indonesia.
Those are some brass balls.
1. The UK. I honestly don't care at this point if you want to activate all those MPPs against us and lead us into a second North American invasion. Maybe that'll keep us from asserting some sort of manifest destiny on others.
2. Mexico. Small fries. Not a threat. No point in bullying small countries around. Not to mention the fact that we should try to have good relations with our neighbors.
3. Columbia. Small fries. Not a threat. No point in bullying small countries around.
4. Brazil. I wouldn't mind reducing Brazil back to its home regions, but taking High Diamond as a prize? Imperialistic and utterly unacceptable.
5. Russia. Who has Russia pushed around recently? Last I heard, China stood up to them and they cowered back into their holes. Not to mention this country has A BUTTLOAD of MPPs.
6. Indonesia. We've pushed them back to their home regions, that's good enough. Attacking their home regions would be unacceptable in my book.
Supported
No.
Unlogical plan of invasion is unlogical.
The US will not into not needed tyranny.
Not tyranny, it's revenge.
:3
IMO it's a game built around a war, I'm p sure PIZ isn't just going to go around attacking people.
Although I agree with you on the boredom recently around here, seriously, would attacking all of those nations solve anything? Sure, it would be entertaining, but at what cost?
Sorry PigInZen, my vote is going to Frost/McFarland. However, good luck in the presidency! You're a worthy contender, and only a select few people are even capable of running against Frost. One of those people is you.
http://www.erepublik.com/en/battles/show/8899" target="_blank">http://www.erepublik.com/en/battles/show[..]/8899 🙂
FROSTMAXXXX!
way to copy my south America initiative.
😉
Get off the high horse guys, killing Mexico, the UK, Columbia, and Brazil would do little to hurt us. The UK can be destroyed in a few days, and the same goes for everyone else. Does it make sense to let someone off the hook for hurting us? In RL, if you commit a serious enough act 5, 10, 20 etc years ago, you are still tried in court, so why shouldn't Mexico, Columbia, and Brazil be tried?
I think we should dominate all of the Americas first mexico then all of south america then we will make up some bs about bombs and towers accept this time will blame it on russia and conquer them and then? well my friend after that... its the WORLD.
Actually starting some shit. That would be fantastic.
PiZ FTW.
>Get off the high horse guys, killing Mexico, the UK, Columbia, and Brazil would do little to hurt us.
It will do absolutely nothing to help us, either.
Just because we could destroy someone doesn't mean we should.
This is an extremely ambitious plan and I support it. I progressed so slowly in this game until WWIII broke out. We need strong, active citizens and war is good for both.
I haven't heard anyone suggest we keep all of these regions once we flatten them like pancakes, so I'm on board.
Newton, actually, I've been lobbying in the Cabinet for Brazil, Mexico, Columbia and the UK for weeks. But you can believe that you had the idea first, I don't care.
DO IT.
This game is not worth playing anymore since we have not had any major offensives in the past month.
As much as I wanted something to happen, and as much as the sadist leather dom top master in me would love to whip all those countries... except Mexico, as I am trying to further better relations with them...
I can't support a totally war bound president...
We'd never be strong enough next month, even with a week or two of heavy influx of new members...
We're already teetering on the edge of pissing off our own allies, and we already have pissed off Romania...
Destroying the eUK DOES A LOT.
Destroying eBrazil TAKES AWAY HIGH IRON FROM PHOENIX.
Destroying eMexico and eColumbia IS REVENGE.
It's worth it.
Yeah please unleash hell 😛
can't we all just get a long?
jk, push the button!
BTW... It's Colombia... with an O... Columbia is a city in Ohio... but I'm just saying... also FROST-MAX... FTW!
Make the world a better place...
PUNCH PHOENIX IN THE FACE
It's got a good beat to it; I like it. 😃
Good. As a future weapons company owner, war is good. I am curious to hear what Frost plans for war.
Astra, Ive always tried to show respect for you since you helped me out when I was a noob. HOWEVER you really need to start understanding the fact that while taking the high road may be nice, It does nothing for us as a nation. We moan on and on about retention, we have the oppurtunity to provide battles for our new citizens, take some revenge out on old enemies, and deprive Phoenix of a few high regions.
Good luck PiZ. I'm rooting for you
Pro tip: Oldf*gs call it Columbia because the eColumbians do not deserve the proper spelling of the country name.
I like the sound of having 5 star hospitals everywhere and 5 star fortresses everywhere then just going to war with those that do have it and get whooped. Im A noob and I don't know whats going on but I understand that as we are right now we aren't meant for all this
Wow... hello Mr President Josh Frost!
WIPE OUT MEXICO! FIRE EVERYTHING!
There needs to be a level limit that you can post comments on newspapers.
Like level 17 would be nice. Maybe 16. Maybe.
Thanks for saying it. I've been saying it for a while, but it needed to be heard from a high profile citizen. I think I'll vomit if I hear anyone else say how it is "wrong" to invade other countries. IT'S A GAME.
Ya know, who gives a fuck anymore? No really.. who the fuck cares. We should go berserk and tear shit up. So what if we lose the offensive and they come back at us. We'll deal massive dmg, weapon and land companies will profit, job demand and salaries will go up and it'll be a shitload of fun. Lets just slam them, even if we lose we'll be back stronger and more pissed than ever!
Long live the fighters!!!
Hoping Pig wins so I can move back to the eUSA!
@Astra Kat G - Are you serious? Please do not forget that this is a game. What game does this most remind me of? Risk, with political and social elements.
Now tell me, how fun would a game of pacifist Risk be? It's only imperialism in reality. Here, in a video game, it's called "having fun". Let's try doing that once in a while.
Of course, we should still be tactical in our military decisions. I say take out the smaller ones that we safely can without activating tons of MPP's, and teach them a lesson.
We gave Mexico a chance at the whole "friendly neighbor" business. They replied by allowing Columbia through to attack us.
There's a saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Why would we give Mexico a second chance to betray us? That's just optimistic stupidity.
FTW!
WAR WAR WAR