Platonic Friends [Pimpin pt. 2]

Day 909, 19:28 • Published in USA USA • by Chocolate McSkittles
This is Part 2 of the "Pimpin' Ain't Easy" series. Part one can be found here.


So I was chillin on my front porch with my dog, when I looked over and said

"Sir Wilbert the Third. Isn't it beautiful what I do for a living? Some people might not consider it worthwhile, but the thing is, I play a special role in the eUS. I help bring people together in eRelationships. Very short ones, often filled with acts that I would never discuss in my reputable newspaper, but eRelationships nonetheless. I help build the eRepublik community and culture, one fling at a time"


Sir Wilbert the Third

With that thought in mind, I went checking the streets of Karnataka for Fingerguns. I found her and shared the good news first:

"Fingerguns, I found 65 people willing to be the male of your dreams"

She looked at me, ready for the statement we both knew would come...

"49 were boys, and 10 were barely worth consideration. 6 qualified as mediocre at best"

She looked at me, unfazed, and muttered something about how more passed initial testing than expected.

I winded up my pimp slap...nobody mutters in my presence, or questions my judgment. Fortunately, I was listening to some pimp-music which soothed my rage.

"Until the next stage of elimination, these 16 pups are being consideration. They have earned the status of Platonic Friend"


Where you want to be.

She nodded with approval (Apparently under the illusion that I needed it), and I gave her the list and sent her on her way.

I went back to my porch. Wilbert was still there, as any loyal friend would be. I looked to him and lamented

"I can't believe she made me get off my porch and find her. She pulls that again and I'm gunna backhand her with a trout. Its like these girls don't even respect a pimp anymore!"

-Chocolate McSkittles
American Pimp


Applications can be seen here!

Finalists/comments can be seen here!


Notes: Responses may be graphic, do not open these links if you are not ready for them.

A future article will discuss the means of deciding Fingerguns one true love (of the week)

eUS forum discussion here - http://eusforum.com/index.php/topic,23912.0.html