PIG-DISGUSTING FOOLISH ATTACK

Day 2,130, 16:09 • Published in USA USA • by Derphoof
SPAIN HAS DECIDED TO ATTEMPT AN INVASION OF OUR GLORIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL SOUTHEAST. THEIR PIG-DISGUSTING HOOVES WISH TO TRAMPLE OUR FLORIDA ORANGE GROVES. THEY LONG TO GATHER ALL OF OUR FISH FOR THEIR ATROCIOUS PAELLA. THEY DESIRE TO FORCE US ALL TO WEAR SOMBREROS.

THEY WILL THROW FILTHY DIRT UPON THEMSELVES, CLAIMING TO LOVE DIO, PRETENDING THAT IT IS SAND TO FOOL US.

THESE DOUBLE SPANIARDS WISH TO SPEND THEIR TIME IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE DROPPING BOMBS ON GLORIOUS MURIKAN SOIL.

THIS COWARDLY ATTACK OF UTTER RETARDATION WILL BE STOPPED BY OUR MASSIVE SWAG ARMIES.

I WILL POLISH MY BLADE WITH DOUBLE-SPANISH BLOOD.

THEIR HIDEOUS OINKING WILL BE SILENCED BY A FLURRY OF LEAD FROM OUR SPECTACULAR ARSENAL.

I WILL PERSONALLY D**K SLAP THEM UNTIL THEY SUBMIT TO MY POWER

MY BLADES WILL CARVE INTO THEIR PIG-DISGUSTING FLESH, AND I WILL MAKE DELICIOUS BACON FROM THEIR LOINS, AFTER I WASH THE SPANIARD OUT OF THEM OF COURSE. THE AMERICAN MASTER RACE WILL FEAST UPON THEIR FLESH AND BE GLAD.

I WILL WATERBOARD ANY SURVIVORS, FORCE THEM TO EAT THEIR OWN KIND, AND TIE THEM ON AN OPEN FIRE SPIT UNTIL THEY OINK THEIR SECRETS TO ME.

I WILL DRINK OF DOUBLE-SPANISH BLOOD, BATHE IN IT, AND USE IT AS LUBE FOR MY PROMISCUOUS ACTIVITIES.

SPAIN, KNOW THAT WE ARE COMING FOR YOU. KNOW THAT WE WISH TO MASSACRE YOU. I WILL RELISH THE OINKING OF YOUR PIGGISH PEOPLE AS THEY MEET THEIR DEMISE. I WILL LOOK UPON THE SLAUGHTER AND PRAISE DIO FOR HIS MIGHTY DEEDS, ALLOWING US TO KILL ALL OF THE DOUBLE-SPANIARDS. I WILL POUR SAND UPON MYSELF, THAT I MAY FEEL THE WARMTH OF HIS PRESENCE IN THE SIGHT OF OUR VICTORIOUS CONQUEST.

I WISH HAPPY HUNTING TO ALL AMERICANS WHO WISH TO JOIN IN THE INDISCRIMINATE SLAUGHTER OF THE PIG DISGUSTING ONES.

OUR MURDEROUS BLOODLUST SHALL BE SATISFIED.

O MIGHTY DIO, IMMORTAL ONE, I SHALL SACRIFICE 100 PIGGISH SPANISH BODIES EVERY DAY AS TRIBUTE TO YOUR GLORY FOR AS LONG AS THIS WAR SHALL PERSIST.

THE SLAUGHTERHOUSES HAVE BEEN PREPARED.

AMERICA WILL PREVAIL