Party for the Rest of Canada

Day 844, 13:16 • Published in Canada Canada • by Augustus Baldwin


Fact: In 2009 there were 32 unsolved murders in eCanada.

Fact: In 2009 Joey Phillips lived in eCanada.


Fact: There are TWO communist parties in eCanada.

Fact: Joey Phillips has never denied being a secret member of the communist party.


Fact: Members of the Union Nationale were proven to be in league with anti-Canadian force during the PEACE occupation of eCanada.

Fact: Joey Phillips has never denied being a member of the Union Nationale.




Oh hi, I didn't see you there.

My name is Augustus Baldwin and I am the President of the Party for the Rest of Canada. Here at the PROC we are in crisis. Our great party is under attack by the PTO machine of Joey Phillips and his hidden masters. Who are those hidden masters? Communists? Seperatists? Reptoids? I don't know. But we need your help to defeat Joey Phillips and his minions so that we can continue in our mission to create a Better Canada!

The PROC aims to end the historical discrimination that the rest of Canada has suffered at the hands of our Quebecois oppressors. Over the past hundred years, our unique non-Francophone culture has been slowly destroyed by the forces of French cultural hegemony, to the point where, shockingly, up to 21.5% of eCanadians cannot speak English as a first language!

Well, here at PROC we have developed a five point plan in order to change all that.
PROC Five Point Plan of Action

1) Have the non-Francophone population of Canada recognized as a distinct nation within Canada.

2) Have Yukon, Nunavut, and the Northwest Territories, as a well as the Provinces of British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and PEI (but not Newfoundland), seperate from Canada and form their own nation: Better Canada.

3) Begin negotiations with both Spain and Poland to see about letting Quebec join France.

Which one of these looks better as the new flag of Francophone Quebec?



OR




4) Have Jacobi reelected and then impeach him for incompetence.

5) Provide equal rights to the zombie citizens of Canada by electing Better Canada's first (and greatest) zombie President, Plugson! Lets make this a teachable moment for all future Better Canadians!



So what can you do to help the PROC achieve its goals?

We need YOU to join the Party for the Rest of Canada and help fend off the attempted PTO by Joey Phillips by voting for me, Augustus Baldwin, PROC Party President.

Now I am not saying that Joey Phillips is a communist or a seperatist, all I am saying is that Joey Phillips has never denied that he is a communist or a seperatist!

My name is Augustus Baldwin, and I have never been a member of a communist or seperatist party.