Operation El Dorado: You're Welcome America

Day 1,086, 13:50 • Published in USA USA • by Gulden Draak

Greetings dear citizens of the USA, and please forgive me for any typos today. Last night we had a crazy White House party that I am still recovering from. Your very own president, Alexander Hamilton actually ran around the White House naked. It was quite a site to see, and I would publish the photos but the Secret Service confiscated them from me. Plus there really wasn’t much to see anyway. 🙂

However, I must now move onto more pressing matters. America, as your Vice President it is my great pleasure to announce to you Operation El Dorado. Surely you have noticed by now that in My Missions on your homepage, a new mission has appeared known as the Quest for El Dorado. If you have tried to complete this mission, you probably realized it asks you to acquire several items which can be fairly expensive. Upon looking at the cost, you most likely quit and became ultra depressed knowing El Dorado could not be yours. Fear not my dear citizens, as I am here to save you. The purpose of Operation El Dorado is to provide you a free way to reach the City of Gold. How are we going to do that? Well quite simply we are just going to conquer that shit.. So let me tell you how this is going to go down:

1) After reading much folklore, we have come to the conclusion that El Dorado is located within Columbia. Using helicopters we will leave the USA and arrive in Colombia like so:



2) Once arriving in Colombia, we expect to meet stiff resistance from their helicopters. They will not give up on their City of Gold that easy. So Gulden, what is our next step you may be asking yourself. Well my dear friends, I am glad you asked. We are going to shoot the helicopters down. How the hell are we going to do that? We are fighting helicopters against helicopters. We will just be trading shot for shot. We need some kind of advantage. Well my friends, I haven’t told you about the best part which is The Secret Mexican Tunnel! a.k.a the Tunnel of Fire a.k.a el Tunel de Fuego. That is right, after extensive negotiations with the Mexican government, I have got them to build us a underground tunnel which we can use to transport our artillery units to shoot down their helicopters. You’re Welcome America



You can take a break to go and change your pants

3) Mass carnage will ensue as we brutally destroy the Colombian helicopters. Once they have been destroyed we can easily make our way to El Dorado where it will be all ours.



It will be all ours my friends

4) Rejoice as American innovation has once again exploited the world for our own personal gain.



eAmerica: Kicking ass since Day 1 of the New World

In closing, this will be a great triumph for the Hamilton administration and we will finally show Europe that they aren’t the only ones who can exploit South America for their own personal gain. Until next time......

Stay thirsty my friends,

Gulden Draak

The greatest VP of all time