One More Time My Friends, Into The Breech

Day 1,016, 19:38 • Published in USA USA • by St Krems

Dear America,

America, you had to know this was coming. To be honest, I’ve been waiting for this delicious moment for years. I’ve sat in my comfortable home, with my 2.5 kids, white picket fence, golden lab (I’ve christened it Lassie), and worried myself while my husband was off at work.

Of course, I’ve been doing my duty and preparing meals for the family, taking care of the house, and ironing copious amounts of shirts. Every moment has been tainted though. Tainted red. The communists have sat across the Bering Sea, confident in their superiority after the test of the Emperor Bomb. They feel confident behind the wall of MAD. I don’t know why, since the newsman on Channel 4 (I don’t trust the ones on 2 or 5, they seem to have Soviet leanings) told me that MAD meant More Android Deaths.

That seems like a good thing. I’d better report those other newsmen to Senator McCarthy, he’ll know what to do with them. In the meantime, I’ve been so thrilled about our campaigns into enemy territory. It kills me to know our boys are dying over there, but I’ll be honest, it’s better than them dying over here in Ohio.

It’s now come time for our boys to land on the beaches of Far Western Alaska again, I’ll pray for them tonight.

Of course I’m referring to the battle here. America, we need to go all out on this one. We need to roll all the excellence of the Russian Invasion into one battle. I’m trusting that we can accomplish this. I trust in you America.