Join the new world

Ladles and gentlebubs,

I am a proud man but, it has to be admitted, I am also a poor man. A very poor man. Do not be fooled by the fact that I spend my time rolling around some of the world's most exotic locations in a tank, for many are the days when I struggle to push even the cheapest food into my sorely expectant gob.

It's pathetic really, that a player of my level can be in such a state - or so I am told. Of course, I don't blame anyone else for my predicament; there was a time when I was self-sufficient in food and could afford to buy most of the weapons I needed, but it was nothing more than brutal self-sufficiency. I couldn't save money; or gold; and I was as weak as a no-armed baby because I couldn't afford to upgrade my training centres.

In short, it was a safe existence. And it was dull.



So, when The Legion was raised to the status official eUK military unit, I decided that I would try my arm at soldiering full-time. I wanted to be of use to the country and to be able to compete more regularly for Battle Honours. The only answer was to sell almost all of my buildings, recoup some gold, and upgrade my training centres. Now I am Super-Saiyan.


Super-Saiyan skillz with Paint!!1

However, what this also means is that my eRepublik experience is directly related to the generosity of others and it is as a huge thank you to these others that I am writing this article. It would be easy for me to regret all the decisions I have made thus far regarding my own wealth (or lack thereof) but really, the only thing I regret is that I can’t be one of you great people, able to donate your possibly hard-earned moolah to impoverished saps like me. I envy you, not because you are in-game wealthy but because you have the power to make this awful, crappy, shitty, poorly designed, fantastic game better for so many other people.



I won’t name names because I’m sure people like ApronChef, RodneyMcKay, Emergy Maxwell, Carlini, Roz, these don’t help people for the publicity. Maybe for sexual favours, but never for publicity. I also don't really want to turn this into an ESO circle-jerk because whilst all these players (and others from whom I have benefited) have been associated with that wonderful party at some point, and even though it is undeniable that ESO is the nicest party, and more so that it’s the sexiest party, I wouldn’t want to suggest that there are not dozens of other swell, generous chap(ettes) in other parts of the eUK community or even the eWorld community and they all need love too.

So, all I want to say is thank you. If you’ve ever given me anything that wasn’t a slap in the balls, thank you. If you've ever given any other, younger or stupider player anything that wasn't a strain of Hepatitis, well done and thank you. You are all awesome and you make the eWorld go round and round.

Lovingly,
Ando



PS: A really good reaction to this article would be for every reader to donate 500 GBP or 1g so I can buy these wonderful people a gift, maybe. Just, erm, send the donations to me for safekeeping, yeah?

PPS: Thank you to all the people of the internet from whom I steal images. Thank you too, Google Image Search.