No Buts, No Maybes - PQ for Congerz

Day 1,705, 06:10 • Published in USA USA • by Silas Soule




No Buts, No Maybes: PQ for Congerz

by Phoenix Quinn





She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah


After losing my last run for Congerz -- despite having the support of RL media mogul Sean Holmes plus a loyal legion of dancing bears -- I had to re-evaluate my musico-political career.

To start with, I sold the mansion in Nantucket to my cousin for a song. The song was John Cale's version of Hallelujah. I love that song.

Did I tell you about my cousin from Alaska? Yeah, she's marrying into the Kennedy clan in September. Along with needing a change of venue myself, I figured giving her a place of her own on the Island will provide a safe refuge for her once the inevitable Kennedyesque shenanigans get rolling. You know what I'm talkin' about, right? Frikkin' Kennedys. I told Joaquin to keep the chopper fueled up in case she needs to make a quick escape.



Artist's rendition of PQ after losing his last Congerz election campaign


Anyway... after failing to imbue to Murikan public with the Spirit of Crazy Horse, I had some cogitating to do. So I dried my tears, said so long to Joaquin, revved up the Harley and got out on the road.





Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah


I bummed around for a while. Sitting on top of the Cohokia Mound, which is a great place to get a good intergalactic signal, I had a long conversation with my old drinking buddy Bill Galaxia. He is presently exploring Jovian gas giants not too far from the Great Rift, mainly looking for new things to barbecue. Bill gave it to me straight. "PQ," he sez, "you can't rap worth a shit. Get over it." At least I think that's what he said. A new pulsar had just lit up his quadrant and there was a good bit of static on the line.

I motored on down to NYC and checked in with my buddy Rant Casey, who is living just north of 110th street these days in one of those trendy Harlem lofts. He's so friggin' bourgeois. I can't reprint everything he said 'cause he talks a mile a minute and uses the f-word like a comma. But the gist of his advice was that I needed to clear my head and start fresh.

After a few more road trips and several scary near-falls off the ol' wagon, I realized that my dream of being the Ambassador of Spirit Quest Hip-Hop to the US Congerz was not gonna work out. So I almost cut my hair, got a new pair of specs, put on my ol' soft shoes, and decided to return to my roots in Afro-Cuban two-celled, clave-based patterns of New Orleans blues.



Artist's rendition of PQ having a sudden epiphany and realizing he needs a fresh start





Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you


I was pleased to discover that my old place in New Orleans was intact, if a bit musty. Still had its unique charm, too, unharmed by either gentrification or the Katrinarific forces of destruction:


When I got to New Orleans, naturally first thing I went to see the Zulu King. Over a big plate of jambalaya, he assured me that I was making the right move by returning to my roots. It would be good for me and good for the Big Easy too, he said. After all, the old place is still quite a mess and can use all the help it can get.

Then we jammed on a version of "Junco Partner".





I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah



Oh, right, dang! Almost forgot... I'm running for Congerz! Yeah, stewy and the gang at those ever-lovin' Feds have graciously allowed me to run on their ticket this month in -- of course -- Louisiana!

Those rocking and rolling home boys and riot grrls in the Socialist Freedom Party are managing the left-handed accompaniment, providing the habanera to my syncopated rhumba for this campaign.

If you need a ticket to ride on down to the Swamp on voting day (the 25th), just let us know and we'll get you on the bus.


Our loose organizing principles for participating in Congerz are as follows:




* Stick to the rules on Citizenship Approval.

* Follow protocol and don't make idiotic proposals.

* Be respectful, but show no fear.


If you support this common-sense program and also want to see the funk back in the music, then support PQ for Congerz! Get yer mojo working and Vote the Fed ticket in Louisiana on the 25th!




XXX,

PQ


The following has just arrived on the sub-space channel:

That's right. PQ is endorsed by the Technocrats. So give it up because you will be assimilated.