Hello and welcome to my new weekly article explaining the weird and very true news that is happening all around the World. I am sorry for the inconvenience, but today their will be no photos because it will not let me add them Today we start our article in North Korea.
Kim Jong-Un Comes Out In Support Of Gay Marriage: 'I'm Not A Monster'
PYONGYANG—As the U.S. Supreme Court heard arguments Tuesday on the constitutionality of banning same-sex marriage, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un told reporters that, considering he’s not a completely awful human being, he unequivocally believes that gay people should be able to marry. “Of course I believe gay and lesbian couples should be treated equally under the law, for God’s sake; I’m not a monster,” the despotic leader said, adding that the idea of trying to stop a loving couple from legally marrying one another is not only wrong from a moral and ethical standpoint but also violates the Fourteenth Amendment. “I have no idea what’s going on with the justices over there, to be honest. The whole thing is a fucking embarrassment.” Kim added that, should the Supreme Court not declare same-sex marriage constitutional in all 50 states, he would strongly consider launching a nuclear weapon at the United States.
With those very assuring and wise words from the Great Leader of North Korea, we travel from an unfortunate place to another unfortunate place. Here is an update on Good Ole Mississippi.
Mississippi Bans Soft Drinks Smaller Than 20 Ounces
JACKSON, MS—Citing a wish to maintain the quality of life for residents across the state, the Mississippi Senate on Thursday passed a bill outlawing the sale of soft drinks in containers smaller than 20 ounces. “We have a responsibility to ensure that Mississippians are consuming sugary beverages at an acceptably high and constant rate, and this ban will see to it that this standard is upheld,” said State Sen. Terry W. Brown (R-District 17) in a morning news conference, adding that the new law will be strictly enforced by state authorities and that any business caught selling soda, coffee, tea, lemonade, sports drinks, or energy drinks in standard cans or containers rather than 64 or 85-oz. cups will be subject to a fine. “This isn’t just about the comfort of individual consumers, it’s about the welfare and overall happiness of entire communities. The fact that a resident of this state could consume less than the equivalent of 16 packets of sugar in one beverage is simply unacceptable, and it demands immediate action.” Brown also called for stricter limits on diet sodas, the sale of which Mississippi lawmakers hope to restrict to minors by the end of the year.
You got to love them for their ability to pay attention to the important issues that is going on in the state. Now we go to see a rare feat in the Internet World.
YouTube Reaches 1 Trillion Racist Comments
SAN BRUNO, CA—The Silicon Valley headquarters of YouTube reportedly erupted in cheers shortly after 10 a.m. local time Thursday as the popular video-sharing service celebrated the 1 trillionth racist comment posted to its website. “When we created YouTube back in 2005, we knew it had the potential to revolutionize the way people make highly offensive and insensitive remarks based purely on a stranger’s racial or ethnic characteristics, but we never dreamed we would make it to 1 trillion of these repugnant comments,” said CEO Salar Kamangar, noting that the milestone comment “ching chong,” posted by user StinkFingaz below a video of a Japanese man painting, would be commemorated on a large bronze plaque in the company’s offices. “It’s hard to even comprehend how many completely ignorant comments 1 trillion is. We’re truly humbled by our dedicated and extremely uneducated users who make such vile and imperceptive statements each and every day. Thank you, everyone.” Kamangar confirmed that reaching the milestone had reinforced the company’s commitment to expanding its servers later this year, which will allow the site to handle up to 1 million “fucking faggot” comments every second.
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