My Run for Congress

Day 1,338, 21:00 • Published in USA Ireland • by Flying Trotsky

As always comrades, I know you're busy liberating the homeland, so I'll jump right into things.

I. I'm Running for Congress
I didn't win chairmanship of the SFP, but comrades, I'm a glutton for punishment. I'm running for congress, and while I want to thank my supporters for helping take away a decent 20%, I'm hoping we'll have better luck this time around.

Now for some reason I don't fully understand, I can't run as an independent or as an SFP candidate, so I have to leech on to the Libertarian Party. Don't worry comrades, my positions haven't changed.

II. My Platform

A. No War, No More
Don't get me wrong comrades, I'm not a pacifist. I've fought tirelessly for the liberation of not only my own country, but for the liberation of our allies as well. But comrades, I am staunchly opposed to wars of aggression by the US for the purpose of creating an American Empire. All empires fall- it's inevitable. Worse than that, it's hypocritical. How can we pontificate about freedom and liberty when we're fighting invaders, and then simply turn around and invade someone else? I don't want to be trapped in an endless loop of invasion and counter-invasion- heck, that's one of the ironic punishments in Dante's Inferno.

B. Don't Wanna Be E-M-P-I-R-E
That's a reference to a song- check it out.
Anyways, to continue from the point above, it's like this:

I support the liberation of the eUS. I believe the eUS should support the liberation of any and every occupied nation. If country A is occupied by country B, we help country A. If country A frees itself and then attacks country B, we support country B.

Freedom and self-determination is a universal right, and we must reject any notions of imperialism or manifest destiny. No empires for anyone- especially ourselves.

C. Share the Wealth
Comrades, I do not believe that a people belong to their government, but that a government belongs to its people. I believe that the funds in the US treasury are not the property of the government, but of the people, and that the government ought to be distributing said funds among the people to help them help themselves. Think about it- who wouldn't benefit from a couple gold at this point? Who doesn't have land to develop? Who doesn't have employees to pay? Comrades, our government shouldn't be stockpiling cash, it should be investing it in its people. We are the wealth of our nation, not our cash.

III. Closing Remarks

I hope I can count on your votes, comrades. Long live a Free America. Long live a free world.

(By the way, our Irish comrades have nearly retaken their entire homeland- how awesome is that?)